Story time

Xaikayla 2004-08-30 07:46:42 ET Trisha’s wedding went swimmingly (Trisha is my sister). I wore the pink dress with pride. A few of my Dad’s friends told me after the ceremony that they didn’t recognize me at first. After the ceremony I put on my jacket because it was not really warm outside. Only after putting on the leather jacket did people start talking to me. I am sure that most were not quite sure if I was me or not until I adorned myself with something they are more familiar with. Sorry, no pictures yet. We tried to download some from the camera to my computer but things were not working well. The most annoying moment was when my old youth pastor, who is really good friends with my parents, pulled me aside to “pray” for me. *Steps on soap box, clears throat* Do not lecture me while praying for me. If you feel that there is something not quite right in occurrence, ask me. I am a big girl. I do not get offended if my actions are questioned. I actually feel a bit more respected than if you shake your finger at me and try to rebuke me indirectly through prayer. Oh and while I am on the subject of misuse of prayer, Praying for people is not a gossip session. *steps down from soap box* One of the best things that happened was between my mom and I. History: My parents got married because they were pregnant with me. This has always been a source for shame with my mom. She has had a hard time demanding right behavior from us if she couldn’t live up to what she expects from us. She has never just let it go. She has apologized to me more than once for the situation. One night in my mom’s sewing room: I commented that she had been married almost 27 years and that was a long time. Her reply was “Yeah and it’s all your fault.” We both laughed for a long time. It felt really happy to finally be away from any shame she felt over being pregnant with me. Ok… on to the next wedding. The dress I made for Christy was beautiful. The month of making it was hard, the end of it all absolutely torture. I couldn’t get her for a fitting. Her phone was off during the mornings and evenings. She decided that a Dave Mathews concert was more important than her dress fitting. So On the day of her wedding. The dress I made and took to be pressed was put on her and found to be a tad too big. Well, not my fault. I was too busy running around that morning looking for the ribbon I was suppose to put on the bouquets I made for her. Running around” In this context means spending an hour on the freeway driving to people’s houses I do not know looking for where the ribbon was left. Oh yeah, I did her flowers as well. Just her and her maid of honor’s bouquet, but it was still more effort than really necessary. Mostly I am just happy the freaking thing is done. NOTE TO ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WANTS ME TO MAKE ANYTHING FOR THEM: I now require more than a month to make anything as complex as designing and constructing a wedding dress. Thankyou. And the hair… My Hair is red. A good red. A happy, bright, not orange like the first attempt made on friday, red.

Sybarite 2004-08-30 07:54:06 ET Yay for no shame + red hair! What on earth was your pastor lecturing you on?? (if I'm prying, tell me to sod off)

analog sky 2004-08-30 07:55:46 ET I'd pray that that guy gets told off royally one day. I'd never go to a Dave Mathews concert, especially in place of fitting a wedding dress. I'd like to see that bright red hair.

Xaikayla 2004-08-30 07:59:34 ET He was lecturing me about my boyfriend. He sees Dave and I dancing, and during this dance we kiss. We kiss, mind you, not suck each other's tonsels out, not consuming faces. Kiss. So I get pulled aside to be told that I need to slow down in my relationship that I shouldn't hurry to get married that I need to pursue God before a boyfriend.

rivetangel 2004-08-30 08:03:37 ET *Laughs hysterically out loud knowing that the youth pastor was sooo jumping to conclusions* I'm proud of you and proud that you're my friend and proud that you've helped me to understand my own faith better than anyone I've ever known who is Christian. Mind you I still don't carry the same beliefs that you do but I'm getting a really good idea of my own. ^_^

Xaikayla 2004-08-30 08:07:31 ET Thank you April. that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

Sybarite 2004-08-30 08:08:29 ET *hugs xai* It's a shame that people assume things instead of ASKING about them.

Xaikayla 2004-08-30 08:13:12 ET Thanks syb. I am kinda use to it from the people in the church I grew up in. I started wearing black when I was about 16 and the whole world caved in on itself. I don't get that from my current church at all. dave and I are always being told by the people in our church that they like us together and they have been praying for our relationship to grow.

rivetangel 2004-08-30 08:14:20 ET A thank you is sooo not necessary for you are responsible in the first place. ^_^

Sybarite 2004-08-30 08:20:22 ET xai- I've never understood that. A person isn't "wrong" or "bad" because they dress a certain way. It's wonderful that people in your church now are so open and supportive of you- closed minded folks suck. My cousin is a very devout Christian, but since he has very long hair and tattoos, many people don't give him a chance, assuming he's some horrible troublemaker, when he's really one of the most kind and gentle people you'll ever meet. poop to that.

Xaikayla 2004-08-30 08:22:57 ET I call it the gap mentality People assume there is only one way to look, to act, to be; and if there is any deviation off this norm, there is something wrong.

Sybarite 2004-08-30 08:27:56 ET MmHmm. So sad, but so true.

rivetangel 2004-08-30 09:24:46 ET Being a Gemini I see both sides of the situation. I disagree with judging people straight off the bat by how they look--but then again it IS about atmosphere as well. Walking down the street down town in Riverside and seeing a man in baggy jeans and a hair net will usually tell you that this person is a gangsta. But a tall burly man with tattoos and a bandana in say--a church--I'd think he's a born again Christian who simply hasn't let go of his own personal preferences in life.

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