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2005-07-25 18:29:32 ET This is a long entry, but it was a long week. I don't think I stopped moving from the moment I arrived on the conference grounds Sunday the 17th to the second I fell asleep, back in my own bed Saturday night. Last week I was a dean at a teen bible camp. I never slept more than 4 hours a night, I had technical difficulties with the sound and video that was unreal, I was herding girls back into their cabins to find more appropriate clothing, I got to show some kids that someone cares how about them. I got to expend myself for the better of a group of teens, 7th grade through highschool, who took a week out of their summer to see what God could do about the messy lives they've got at home. The theme of the camp was "over the edge", so all activities, decoration, and talks were based off this theme. Dave and I made an awesome set for the main meeting hall. The recreation staff (rec crew) had every afternoon filled with crazy games that landed the kids in water, whip cream, mud, and whatever else we could get to pull them out of themselves and challenge them. We made them memorize verses, sat them down in front of an incredible speaker who shared about his life in street gangs and how God changed him from an angry person, to someone who could function in society. Our main Job was just to be there for what ever person needed someone to talk to, to answer questions, to just listen and give hope. The amount of girls I met struggling with eating disorders kills me. From control issues to horrible self image, all they want is fix whatever is wrong with them. I sat in one cabin with a group and apologized to them on behalf of the source that gave them the idea they were not perfect in the first place. This was the hardest moment for me because I shared my own weakness in that area due to the health issues I have had my whole life. I tried to explain that no matter what someone looks like, act like, does, etc… someone is going to point a finger and start the name calling. I showed them all my stomach which has a long scar that runs up my stomach instead of a belly button like a normal person. I explained how size and weight was not important. I tried to send them home with the truth that beauty is not something you look at when you see a person, that beauty is in the kindness of their actions, the ability to refrain from hurtful words, scincerity in all that they involve themselves with. One girl has written me two emails since Saturday. She's really trying hard to start eating again. Anger at her mother and fear of rejection makes her feel guilty when she feels hungry. We had a long talk about how it was impossible to get fat by drinking water. Her youth pastor knows her issue and Saturday I ate lunch with her. I will do all I can to encourage her to keep eating. I pray a lot for her as well. It means a lot to me to be able to help someone get through high school with trying to kill themselves. I cried when one girl confessed that she really did want to live she just didn’t think anyone else wanted her alive. I was a rock star for a week. Simply because I acted crazy and showed a bunch of kids that someone cares about how they feel. If I could do this for the rest of my life I would be a happy person. |
