2006-08-30 16:40:41 ET

Still no Job. 18 days of job searching is unhappy. I am not sure if the right one hasn't come along or that I need to make the blue hair go away. I am giving it two more weeks. If I still have no job, I go blonde.

We have put a bid on a house. It is a really charming thing built in 1954. It has the largest magnolia tree I have ever seen. If it becomes mine then a little pruning will make it perfect for a little tea table to fit under the branches and tea within the leaves will be very relaxing. Happy features on the inside include hardwood floors that were discovered hidding under smelly carpets and a huge room perfect for the art studio.

I have come to the conclusion that I need creative people around me. It's not just a type of person I prefer. There is a profound sence of loneliness I feel at the absence of "projects". All my sewing and drawing things are stored in boxes with no place to break them out. I am left playing my guitar as my husband doodles. I will be content for now but hopefully a new house comes soon.

I am comming to terms with an idea that there is nothing wrong with me. Most of my life I have had this underlying thought that there is something in me that is not quite complete and that if people find out they hate me for it. apparently I am not the only one who thinks this and anyway it is all lies.
another bit about understanding me. In a conversation with a friend the worry over my hair color was expressed. It resaulted in a long conversation in how hair color is not chosen to attract attention and how my love of colored hair could be a resault of the dolls I liked best as a child. Rosepetal place, rainbow brite and strawberry shortcake ruined me.
So in conclusion blue hair makes me pretty, not unprofessional!

2006-08-31 09:03:24 ET

I miss you.

2006-08-31 12:05:57 ET

I miss you too.

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