every man needs...
2004-08-16 12:58:28 ET

A dildo. Seriously. Every man must have one. Get over your homophobia now damn it, because masturbation just ain't the same without one. *runs off*

2004-08-16 13:05:17 ET


2004-08-16 13:08:48 ET

What? What do you mean? I don't see anything wrong with what I just said!

2004-08-16 13:26:30 ET

i demand instructions...with pictures..

2004-08-16 13:30:25 ET

Er.. you want pictures? Of me? :P

2004-08-16 13:38:00 ET


2004-08-16 13:39:17 ET

How 'bout a video tutorial? ;)
I agree, actually Matt. The men I've known that were able to get over that, and were able to explore themselves in all ways, uninhibited... were much more sure of themselves, what they wanted, and how to give what I wanted without me even having to ask. Basically, they were just better at it all the way around.

2004-08-16 13:42:59 ET

hahah. A video tutorial? Eep. i'd be uber too shy for that. -rofl- If I were to do that, I might as well just join the porn industry... Or... I could find a man and demonstrate that way ;) Meep. Sounds fun.. I'm gonna get myself all bothered though. Meh.

2004-08-16 13:46:20 ET

Come to think of it, have you ever noticed that all my friends here are of the female species? I'm such a... What's the word for it. I don't think there is one. A would be fag, and you're all my would-be-fag-hags. *cackle* Honestly. Women rule. I love you all :)

2004-08-16 14:02:36 ET

Not very men are wholly comfortable with themselves and their sexuality.. the fact that you are might be unnerving to the insecure ones.

*squishes you*

2004-08-16 14:15:14 ET

Don't squish me! Meh. That's rude. So very very rude. I might even cry now.

Yep, being secure with sexuality never really meant much of anything to me. I just always have been a whatever kinda person. I'll have sex with a woman, or man whenever whatever strikes my fancy. I'm quite random.

2004-08-16 14:18:44 ET

but not random enough for a video ..tsk!

2004-08-16 14:28:13 ET

I don't have anything to record a video with. Perhaps when I have something I will. But you'll have to pay to get it ;)

2004-08-16 15:27:31 ET

you would deny us all access to learning materials???

2004-08-16 15:28:29 ET

Er. What's the point of that? Why don't you all just pay me a visit, I'll sit back, and you can do it -for- me? They always said the best way to learn something is through practice ;)

2004-08-16 15:30:36 ET

well yes...they do say practice makes perfect...

2004-08-16 15:31:56 ET

So come visit. Nothing is better than just sitting back.. and uhm.. Yeah..grin

2004-08-16 15:48:08 ET

Hmm... Georgia doesn't seem so far away all the sudden...
hehehehee... Hey Autumn.. Road trip? ;)

2004-08-16 15:49:48 ET

You're bad. Because after reading that, of course I'm immediately horny. Pah. Wicked wicked women.

2004-08-16 15:51:41 ET

road trip!!;) you bring the munchies...

2004-08-16 15:55:57 ET

Wait.. isn't Matt the munchies?

2004-08-16 15:56:01 ET

You really should. You really really ought to. I'd cry. And that would be of happiness.

2004-08-16 15:57:53 ET

i meant for in the car...and wouldn't he be more of a meal?

2004-08-16 16:01:24 ET

Oh wow. I'm getting bad images and mental thoughts going on. My li'l helpless brain is being overloaded with such naughty stimuli. I can already see how this night ends.. shower.. dildo.. mm..

2004-08-16 16:02:35 ET

Ohh.. those kinds of munchies...
And I suppose it depends on how you look at it... I much prefer to nibble here and there, mustn't have it over too quickly, you know...

2004-08-16 16:08:22 ET

Over? What's this over you speak of? I'm the incredible bag of foreverlasting whatever-food-you-like. -grins- That really isn't an understatement. *hides*

2004-08-16 16:12:03 ET

My kinda boy ;)

2004-08-16 16:13:45 ET

So how long does it take for you to get here again? -hums-

2004-08-16 16:15:08 ET

lol...nibbling is good...that's why you make it a multiple course meal...

2004-08-16 16:16:31 ET

Eh, nibbling? It's always a multi-course meal with me. I just don't stop! damn it, I need to get those energizer bunny batteries out of me, don't I?

2004-08-16 16:18:15 ET

energizer bunny batteries are a good thing...

2004-08-16 16:19:22 ET

Not sometimes. I get bored sometimes! But seeing as both of you are women who appear quite knowledgeable about certain... things, it may not be as it usually would ;)

2004-08-16 16:22:11 ET

Bored? HA! Riiiight......

2004-08-16 16:23:08 ET

Yeah, I've been caught rolling eyes and stuff like that during sex. Sighs of boredom. That of course is without a condom. With a condom, it's more like.. yeah ok, I can't feel a goddamn thing. I'm going to go masturbate in the bathroom.

2004-08-16 16:26:46 ET

HAHAHAA!... yeah. I'm gonna pretend I have no idea what you're talking about... lol...
(girls do that too, by the way)

2004-08-16 16:29:18 ET

Luckily, the only time I've ever had problems like that was when I was drunk, or the first 100 times I had sex when I was like 15 and had no clue what I was doing.


This meaning no pleasure for the female. Then I wisened up. Did a lot of reading, talked to a lot of people and heard random things. Then I got to finally use what I heard, and it worked damn well. Then I started doing fun things on my own which also seemed to work. So go me.

2004-08-16 16:40:07 ET

Right on! Exploration is the best way to succeed in sex.
I actaully have a difficult time telling people I'm with what I want.. because mostly, it's the unknown that allows it to remain interesting and exciting.
I don't wanna know what your'e gonna do.. just do it and make my day, y'know?

2004-08-16 16:46:18 ET

Heh, the only thing it really takes for me is to not be as dry as my skin right now, and tighten those damn muscles lots. Mmm..

And it's really surprising how few women really do know what they're doing when it comes to sex.

2004-08-16 17:02:08 ET

it's more like we get used to guys running over us in that department...but i agree with ironangel...i tend to like suprises..

and definately go you...cause a lot of guys have no idea what the hell they are doing either..

2004-08-16 17:04:27 ET

I can't compare myself to other people. I don't know if I do anything differently or what it is. Or if everyone I've been with when I wasn't drunk was just a faking dolt! I dunno.

I'd have to know what most guys do to compare myself with them. So? Start explaining.

2004-08-16 17:08:56 ET

I'm very happy to see that you like both sides of the coin...

2004-08-16 17:09:37 ET

And in all actuality, I can't walk around saying I'm some master in bed. But when it comes to non-drunken sex, I've pleased 4/4 people. But then again, 4 isn't that large of a number. Then there were a few times that I can't remember. I dunno.

2004-08-16 17:11:04 ET

Does it really matter? Like art, sex is objective. It's all about what you like and how you like it. Even someone who doesn't perform well can do a great job when given some instruction.

2004-08-16 17:14:30 ET

Hmm.. Never had instruction before. -grin- That would be interesting. "Hey could you do.. er.. this?" whee!

Hmph, what does suck is my 'tampon penis' *grin* That was the most amusing thing I was ever told. "Yeah, you're really good, but your penis feels kind of like a tampon" Oh joy, you've my day.

2004-08-16 17:19:16 ET

WTF??? Is it skinny?

2004-08-16 17:21:36 ET

Yeah. I mean, not like a ball point pin or something. I'd say 3-4 inches around tops though.

Umm hrmm.. 2-4 around? I'll measure tonight and give you an exact response.

2004-08-17 10:24:53 ET

ok...so is that diameter or circumference?

2004-08-17 12:03:50 ET

Er which is which... Hmm.. Around. Hehe. Around. I have a thin penis, yes, yes I do

2004-08-17 17:22:48 ET

That might explain why you can't feel a whole lot while having sex. You should invest in a pump or a natural enhancement supplement.

2004-08-17 18:13:49 ET

Yeah yeah, I know. It's all MY fault isn't it?! I hate you! I really do!

No.. just kidding. I enjoy my small penisness. It's rather small, and it's cute. Cuddly pee-pee! Oh.. wow. That was weird. sorry!

2004-08-18 11:33:12 ET

You worry me, dear.

2004-08-18 12:16:51 ET

I do not worry you. I'm funny. You're supposed to laugh. Pah. Fine, no more Xani humor for you. I'll be a dry sarcastic asshole from now on. Hmph.

2004-08-18 16:50:26 ET


2004-08-18 16:50:56 ET

That was again.. a joke.

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