A quest!
2004-08-23 16:17:56 ET

The quest to find my biological father commences! And ...is over already.

Wow, that wasn't very fruitful. Oh well :(

2004-08-23 16:30:07 ET

you're adopted?

2004-08-23 16:32:44 ET

Yes. Yes I thought we all knew this?

2004-08-23 17:09:02 ET

I take it you didn't get any leads?

2004-08-23 17:21:44 ET

Nope. I talked to my biological mother recently, she was like "uh yeah.. I tried looking for your father and couldn't find a trace. Maybe he's in jail."

2004-08-24 00:01:14 ET

i know the feeling..i'm adopted and i can't find my mother or sister...

2004-08-24 03:54:25 ET

Xan- that.. really sucks.

Autumn- that too.

2004-08-24 04:58:43 ET

well, I know in a lot of ways, I'd only WISH I don't know my father. That way he'll seem more romantic, something to look forward to with anxiety...than something to almost-absolutely HATE and have to LOVE at the same time, and someone who'll NEVER be invited to my boyfriend's side of family.

2004-08-24 05:03:08 ET

amen to that, Antony.

2004-08-24 05:08:41 ET

my boyfriend would invite my mom and her friends to a water park or play board games with them but wouldn't even go to my dad's for dinner eh...that's how sad it is.

2004-08-24 05:09:53 ET

I know what that's like.
When mine was alive, I made it very clear to my mother than when I got married, he would NOT be invited.

2004-08-24 05:14:31 ET

Why such the hatred for fathers? Heh. None of it bothers me really, it's just one little thing. I mean, father? Who cares. Hehe.

2004-08-24 05:19:01 ET

You probably didn't grow up with the fathers some of us have had, Xan.

2004-08-24 05:31:06 ET

Eh probably? I didn't grow up with a father period, so I'm missing out on the love that you're talking about.

Nope, I was raised by several women. I'll say it's their fault I'm emotionally unstable. Ehh that along with a few mishaps in high school. Wait.. hundreds of mishaps in high school.

2004-08-24 05:33:39 ET


2004-08-24 05:41:54 ET

-grins- it's their fault! *point evil people hiding in the corner*

2004-08-24 07:28:44 ET

The thing is that it's like a giant guilt trip. I was always raised to believe (similar to most Asians) that blood ties/family is NOT a choice, you have to love them because that's all that is to trust: the bond, the relationship that makes you who you are, etc.. And my dad SELLS a very abstract image of "success". Then there WERE the times when he loved his family. In general it's really fucked up, and the selfish ways he chose wealth/fame over actual family have fucked up 3 generations.

As the most recent story:
He lives in an 1-acre house after raking in over 250,000 profit from the last house he moved out of. With that money he didn't pay ANY of his debt...but by furnishing his new house he put himself in FURTHER debt. And my brother's internet access is cut off because he didn't pay the bills for 4 months. He also has a room devoted to setting up antique stereo systems and a Porche sitting in his garage. a $5000 custom matress and $600 bed sheets. $3000 navy and white leather couches in the living room. Medieval-inspired dining table sets. My brother's sleeping on his old matress he probably overfucked other chics on.

And this man did not even pay the legal fees for a divorce he insinuated.

2004-08-24 07:36:04 ET

oh. my. gods.

2004-08-24 07:49:18 ET

you know, I'd rather have a father who's proven clinically insane or traumatized as a child. But he's not.

So here's my word to you xan. Most likely, you DON'T want to know your father if he had chosen not to show up in your life..

2004-08-24 12:00:45 ET

Yeah most likely, It's never even really been something I've put a lot of thought into. it's never bothered me, even though family members claim that it almost "has" to upset me but I block it out. Or some random bullshit like that. It's all a bunch of crap honestly, I think about it ever once in a while, but nothing ever really comes out of those thoughts.

2004-08-24 13:04:29 ET

that is bullshit..my adopted parents think that my adoption is at the root of any emotional issues i happen to have...
but really i wouldn't have anything to do with my biological father. you really don't want to associate with someone who slipped your mother drugs when she was pregnant just to see if it would make her miscarry...
i just want to see my sister..i barely remember her

2004-08-24 13:33:43 ET

Now that must hurt. Wow. Ouch. That does suck.

2004-08-24 13:38:32 ET

not so much anymore...but it really sucks missing someone you never really got to know..the last time i saw her i was 5 and she was 2...i just want to know that she is ok, she used to get sick alot.

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