2005-03-21 21:25:20 ET
1. In the beginning there was nothing.
2. No, I lie. There had to be something.
3. Oh right, I remember! There was God.
4. And there was Hedgehog.
5. I mean how could it have been without Hedgehog? Without Hedgehog it's no fun.
1. And it was dark, I mean you couldn't see anything.
2. But hey, what's to look at? There's only God and Hedgehog.
3. Really, nothing else there.
4. No, wait, there had to be something.
5. Right! There was a Word.
6. The Word was uttered by God, when he stumbled upon Hedgehog and fell on his ass.
7. And the word was "God-dammit, I can't see a thing, who's there on the floor?! Stupid Hedgehog!"
1. And God created light.
2. To find Hedgehog, because in the dark you can't see a thing.
3. And Hedgehog became frightened and Hid itself.
4. Wait, where would it hide? There was nothing.
5. No, wait, there had to be something.
6. Right, there was Light. But there was no Hedgehog, because Hedgehog Hid itself.
7. Cunning little creatures, those Hedgehogs, huh?
1. God became angry.
2. He created Earth and Water.
3. You know, so that Hedgehog would drown.
4. Or so it would get buried under the Earth.
5. Either drown, or the earth, something has to happen to Hedgehog, right?
6. But Hedgehog didn't give a shit.
7. Because it Hid itself.
8. And on the way fell asleep.
1. And God understood that Hedgehog Hid itself.
2. "You damned prick" said God.
3. Hedgehog, by the way, was still asleep.
4. So God created lots of other stuff - sky, sun, moon and stars.
5. So that when Hedgehog wakes up it would be really surprised.
6. Hedgehog woke up and became surprised.
7. "Whoa, what a trip" - said Hedgehod, and became surprised again, just for the sake of it.
1. And God created animals.
2. And man too.
3. And he said "you see these animals?"
4. "Sure" said man.
5. "Find Hedgehog among these, and bring it to me" - said God.
6. "What for" - asked man?
7. "Just bring it" - answered God, and smiled. - "I'll kick it's ass. So that it wouldn't run around under my feet in the dark."
8. And man went.
1. For many years man searched for Hedgehog.
2. And instructed his children to do so as well.
3. And his children instructed their children.
4. Children of the children didn't quite grasp the concept of the search.
5. Started searching for the meaning of life.
6. They still do.
7. But they never found Hedgehog. Because the meaning of life is in it.