I feel a bad moon rising...
2004-02-12 12:24:50 ET

upon awaking this morning the smell of dred fills the air...as I attempt to get to the bathroom it takes the strength from me...two things are happening now...the first most potent is a spell of winter depression...companined by the begining of the flu...I glance in the mirror trying to wake myself from this state...utter disgust looks back at me...I make my way to the livingroom giving myself a pep talk about my responsibilities... the house has been badly neglected from the extra tasks created from a sick baby...I fill the sinks and start on the dishes...I complete them in a dazy meloncholie mood...focusing more on the dirty dish water then the task itself...the water reflects the way i feel clowdy, cold, imperfect...the dishes are done and i need something to cheer me up...I have a talk with Maddie she laughs I try to smile...I put her to bed thinking I should do the same...weighing the importance of the chores I proceed to complete them...I feel so old and worn with a few holes...I am just going through the motions of today...Tomorrow looks promising though

2004-02-12 12:26:36 ET

Very graphic...I have the flu too I think :(

best of luck with tomorrow.

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