tears from the moon
2002-11-19 08:44:38 ET

been drinking many lattes. so i had 4 cigarettes over the weekend. feh, i am disappointed in myself. but hey, i was out and about and it was so damn tempting. i think i can control myself since i have not had any since. or much of a craving to do so. maybe its one of those things which will gradually be phased out of my life. i've never been one to be so final about anything.

i've found that married or involved women are attracted to me. i have absolutely no idea why. maybe because i am non-threatening. maybe in some way i represent stability. maybe that is just the way of women. i'll never understand. but in a way, i like it. its safe for me. its no secret that i was traumatized by my divorce. i fear women. i struggle with it everyday. not knowing if i want to overcome my fears yet. lonliness vs. fear of betrayal.

maybe thats why i like clubbing so much. there you can dance with a woman and then walk away. no obligation for more, just an instance, a smile, a small conversation. and then you move on. bite sized relationships. can you run away from something fast enough to be able to catch it eventually?

2002-11-19 08:51:02 ET

We're in the same boat homey. Women scare me to death. Like that one I mentioned! :-)

2002-11-19 09:15:12 ET

understandable. women are scary!

2002-11-19 09:21:13 ET

2002-11-19 14:15:12

understandable. women are scary!


2002-11-19 09:22:27 ET

They are scary! They scare me too! No boo for azraeltrigger!

2002-11-19 09:22:37 ET

-hides under the bed-

2002-11-19 09:28:23 ET


2002-11-19 09:44:29 ET

maybe i should just don my rocc0 persona and be a macho ass-fucker!!!!

2002-11-19 09:47:50 ET

spit in their assholes!

2002-11-19 09:49:28 ET

haha...i couldn't even imagine doing that. i am so NOT rocc0, its not even funny

2002-11-19 09:51:53 ET

yea man, it would take a lot to be a true player like rocco

2002-11-19 09:53:28 ET

Married women are easy to Meat.

2002-11-19 09:54:55 ET

no doubt! i cant even come close!

2002-11-19 14:46:34 ET

this is for you gus, i know you will appreciate it http://maddox.xmission.com/irule2.html HAHAHAAH!!!! make sure you read both pages! lol

2002-11-19 14:51:12 ET


2002-11-19 16:12:29 ET

1) You are a slut.
2) Go hit up some married chicks.

2002-11-19 16:13:35 ET

Haha, my teacher showed me that site a couple of weeks ago, D[C]. (Death [C]ondition, I'm so clever.)

That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.

2002-11-19 16:14:46 ET

haha, that link had me cracking the fuck up lol

2002-11-19 17:31:51 ET

iits almost as funny as engrish

2002-11-19 19:40:20 ET

women scare me, too boys!!!

2002-11-19 19:41:09 ET

and, yeah...i fucking love that site. so hilarious :D

2002-11-19 19:42:56 ET

but you are one...they are much scarier to us guys...i think

2002-11-19 19:46:29 ET

hmm....i dunno. i stay away from most. haha.

2002-11-20 05:08:07 ET

But I think clubbing provides for dissatisfaction with it's mini-relationships. Knowing you've had those, possibly, can make you more lonely when you realize you still have nothing.

Guys are scary too.

2002-11-20 05:47:00 ET

that is true sometimes insomnia. but for the most part, it helps me get through a week. its just enough where i dont go nuts. but in the end, having nothing is the goal, right? its the zen way.

2002-11-20 06:04:32 ET

Clubbing is a good stress reliever.

2002-11-20 06:33:39 ET

that is so true for me. i work out a lot just dancing it away. its a sanctuary where i can be happy and enjoy myself without thinking about work or family or anything else but the moment.

2002-11-20 14:26:43 ET

Clubbing baby seals is a good stress reliever.

2002-11-20 17:37:15 ET

but its so hard to get the blood off the mittens!

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