i am disintegrated
2002-11-22 08:01:05 ET

its finally friday. and i couldnt be more thrilled. on the inside. this weather has put me in a contemplative mood. it happens often, triggered by different events or occurrences. today its the weather. foggy, damp, chilly...perfect gotham weather. i feel insulated...peaceful and tranquil. nothing can touch me, i'm in the protective arms of anonymity, a face in the crowd to be forgotten. its on days like this i feel my emotional range widening just a bit...so that i can feel more, and more deeply. with more understanding for some of my peers, more insight into motivation, into weakness, and into frailty. in essence, more human.

i don't recall when it was i began to de-humanize myself. probably at an early age. even a youngster can take a quick look around and decide being a human sucks donkey cock. but i am all about balance. i need to be more emotional sometimes. because like it or not...i am human.

2002-11-22 08:03:17 ET

I hate emotions...they drive me crazy.

2002-11-22 08:11:56 ET

Perhaps the DONKEY PUNCH will help.

2002-11-22 08:15:13 ET

Ha! Or The Admiral!

2002-11-22 08:24:21 ET

LOL...i only found out what a donkey punch was last year >.<<BR>
sin: what is an admiral???

2002-11-22 08:32:48 ET

The admiral is when you do someone doggie style. Then you knock out their arms from under them so they can't support themselves. Then, you salute and hum the Battle Hymn of the Republic and push them around the four corners of the room.

2002-11-22 08:34:00 ET

enjoy, you wankers.

2002-11-22 08:45:21 ET

sin: that sounds like a complicated maneuver. not sure if i have the coordination to pull it off.

storm: thanks, i'll check it out

2002-11-22 08:45:47 ET

ARG! dead link

2002-11-22 08:47:29 ET

Go to - misplaced 'quotes'
I can see again! It's a miracle! Praise Jesus...

2002-11-22 09:03:09 ET

LOL...thanks storm...this will entertain me for hours

2002-11-22 09:08:59 ET

You should send it to rocc0

2002-11-22 09:15:24 ET

try dehuminization through humanity...
i.e. rwanda genocide, sudanese slave trade, etc...
then listen to some slogun or folkstorm or some of the real industrial stuff (tg, spk)...
go for a walk and watch people talk on their cell phones while thinking about that kid right now sleeping with an ak47 in liberia...

2002-11-22 09:50:07 ET

storm: ha, he probably wrote the book on that stuff

doll: those are some sobering thoughts. it makes me thankful for what i have

2002-11-22 09:54:33 ET

think of what i felt after returning from africa...

2002-11-22 12:16:04 ET

I want to know what *you* mean by beginning to de-humanize yourself. ..

And just don't mention the ninja, especially around die bonkt. .

2002-11-22 17:19:42 ET

im too emotional for my own good... :(

2002-11-22 23:54:35 ET

insomnia: just being unemotional....too robotic....not human

unspoiled: awww, sometimes, i am too

2002-11-23 01:29:39 ET

screw emotions.

I want to think and not feel.

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