saturday night fever
2002-12-09 06:58:30 ET

i had a sudden insight in the shower this morning. my fear of relationships manifests in bizaare ways. for example: i met an attractive young lady from the detroit area at batcave on saturday and within 2 minutes of being introduced to her, i had her phone number. rewind my life 8 months. i met a similar young lady from ohio and the same thing happened. i examined my club life in the time in between. i must have met dozens of young attractive ladies from the ny/nj area. how many numbers? zero. how can i only be interested in women that i have no chance at a stable relationship with? this is destructive behaviour! i need to get a grip and stop being a chickenshit. thanks to everyone who had nice comments about my new gallery. hearts to all of you!

2002-12-09 07:15:01 ET

sorry so late but yea ur pic's are awsome!

2002-12-09 07:16:22 ET

thank you!!!

2002-12-09 07:17:02 ET

welcome sweetie

2002-12-09 07:41:31 ET

(also quite late) what are you talking about?! you are very photogenic! and...everyone goes through a time when they are attracted to people they know they can't have a stable relationship why not have a little fun in the process?

2002-12-09 07:52:50 ET

angry: thanks!

and my avoidance of girls is running on 2 years now...and the one time i let my guard down, the girl turned out to be fairly unstable. and im not what you'd call a 'player' im much too shy to have casual rather be alone than do that. but i do enjoy meeting new people and hanging out.

2002-12-09 07:54:51 ET

well, whatever works for you. I could only have casual sex if I was in that sort of mood. but I get what your saying. its cool...

2002-12-09 07:58:51 ET

i always somehow end up with the i have a big blinking light above me saying assholes come to me???

2002-12-09 07:59:28 ET

goulachick: I know EXACTLY how you feel!

2002-12-09 08:00:46 ET

hehe glad someone does

2002-12-09 08:02:00 ET

trust me, i wish i werent as shy as i am! ive missed out on so much action!!! blarg

but i also do not look down on people who do engage in casual sex. i believe that it is a form of self expression...and it is not a bad thing in and of itself. and maybe one day i will participate...just to try it. i like to experience new things.

2002-12-09 08:02:26 ET

yeah same here. ;) its funny how that works out. and its even worse when you meet a guy that is nice at first then he turns into a jerk. so then you think you were the one to turn him that way.

2002-12-09 08:03:05 ET

experiencing new things is fun

2002-12-09 08:04:51 ET

i tried the whole casual thing one night...i did not like it...its just not for me...i get attatched...

2002-12-09 08:05:26 ET

angry: its sad that guys will act nice to get laid then not care anymore. that is the single most annoying thing about guys. and i am a guy myself! i cant even imagine how girls deal with that.

2002-12-09 08:06:18 ET

heh...yeah...I used to get attatched to people a lot. but...I'm getting over it. to me just need to get laid. but that's just me...

2002-12-09 08:08:26 ET

azrael: I had that happen to me. in fact the guy that took my viriginity did that. he was a good friend of mine too. we liked each other and everything(so I heard from his side) and then after it happened...he just stopped talking to me. and when he did talk...he'd get annoyed and pissed off at me very easily. it got to me at first...but now...I'm just like...fuck it.

2002-12-09 08:10:15 ET

secretly inside i am a hopeless romantic

2002-12-09 08:11:42 ET

me too, chick, me too

2002-12-09 08:11:52 ET

but its dying

2002-12-09 08:18:39 ET

me too! being a guy and also being a romantic is not a good combo. my guy friends rib me aall the time about not 'going for it'

and the girls are like 'you are too sensitive' i wanna be your friend! arg!

2002-12-09 08:21:14 ET

fuck...I'd like to have a guy like you, azrael, but sometimes you just need to have a little fun. that's what I believe....a little self-indulgence never hurt anyone.

2002-12-09 08:27:40 ET

me too!!! bad you live so far away...i need a guy like you!

2002-12-09 08:28:36 ET

the perfect couples find each other in situations where they can't have each other.

2002-12-09 08:29:16 ET

damn straight

2002-12-09 08:30:11 ET

*sigh* it sucks...

2002-12-09 08:32:59 ET

yup yup..le sigh

2002-12-09 08:34:03 ET

oh, dont think i dont have fun! i do! i indulge myself plenty. and i do have random hook ups (drunken) at clubs...i never take it to the next level (i actually tried once but couldnt close the deal)

i have plenty of fun without sex. but sex is fun too. and i'd be lying if i said that i didnt miss it. i just cant remain unemotional when really sucks. its supposed to be the one thing guys are good at!

2002-12-09 08:37:38 ET

eh not all guys are the same.

2002-12-09 08:38:06 ET actual (sp) real good guy..damn..

2002-12-09 08:42:04 ET

well it didnt help the girl i brought home was as dumb as rocks...and rocks everywhere should be insulted at the comparison! i just layed there thinking...what the hell am i doing? i didnt feel right. didnt feel comfortable in my own head. and you know i have to be able to live with myself

2002-12-09 08:44:15 ET


2002-12-09 08:44:38 ET


2002-12-09 08:47:35 ET

you know, sometimes I think you're the smart one, Azrael. i keep meeting girls that seem wonderful, then blow up in my face, and make me feel like I'm the one who fucked up.

2002-12-09 09:06:27 ET

the key is to assume that any particular girl is completely insane until she proves otherwise. sorry ladies...but thats been my personal experience

2002-12-09 09:08:14 ET

i know how you feel...i assume that of guys too

2002-12-09 09:08:48 ET

my ex just sent me an email and added me as a buddie on his yahoo...odd

2002-12-09 09:10:00 ET

he's making a bold move!

2002-12-09 09:11:57 ET

i dunno what to do...i love him with all my life but he ripps me apart on the inside

2002-12-09 09:18:27 ET

I say you throw luncheon meat at him.

It's so crazy that it makes sense.

<umm, yeah, I slept 3 hours last night.>

2002-12-09 09:23:13 ET

he is in south america...(navy)..6 month deployment

2002-12-09 09:26:04 ET


2002-12-09 09:30:01 ET

he will be back in march

2002-12-09 09:32:51 ET

then you have something to look forward to!

2002-12-09 09:36:59 ET

no i am terrified...he left me at a horrible point in my live and it hurt me more that anything.....he only started trying to have anything to do with me after he burned his face up

2002-12-09 09:37:14 ET

i don't want him to hurt me like that again

2002-12-09 09:38:29 ET

he left me the day i went to the doctor and found out i had in a wreck b/c i was crying so hard and sprained me suxed bad

2002-12-09 09:49:40 ET

cancer! holy shit!!!! is it in remission?

and what do you mean, he burned his face up?

2002-12-09 09:57:30 ET

I think it's official, Goulachick has the roughest life on SK. *cries*

*give Goulachick a big hug*

2002-12-09 10:01:32 ET

no its much better was cervical they have cut it out and i am in remission..wel..the goofy boy was tore up drunk and tried to down a shot of everclear while it was on fire..hehehe stupid stupid

2002-12-09 10:01:45 ET

TY for the love though

2002-12-09 10:07:12 ET


2002-12-09 10:07:52 ET

goul: best wishes on your health! i'll have a drink in your honor tonight. hmm...everclear on fire, eh. and this is the guy you are in love with?!?! ;P

2002-12-09 10:09:41 ET

he was drunk off his ass...he was not in the right state of mind

2002-12-09 10:10:13 ET

i love him very much...but i don't want him to hurt me again so i don't think i'll take him back

2002-12-09 10:10:37 ET

lol..i was just teasing, i'm sure he is a fine fellow

2002-12-09 10:12:42 ET

well he used to be...something happened to him when he went home to frisco B4 he left...something changed him so much...i was told by his friends he was going to ask me to marry him when he got back...but he left me when he came back

2002-12-09 10:14:22 ET

cold feet. he blew it! it happens sometimes. feel of commitment...blah blah. its very common...dont take it personally

2002-12-09 10:15:46 ET

i dunno...i just don't know what to do..i love him but i can't take the pain again

2002-12-09 12:56:22 ET

funny. i get numbers when im in when i live in tah, but visiting california and when i live in california and just visit utah i get numbers but not when i am where i live at the given moment.
get it? ya. weird.

2002-12-09 13:59:31 ET

I did that all the time back in Cali, especially since a lot of people used to come there from out of town.

Keep it up. The alternatives only hurt you.

2002-12-09 14:41:58 ET


2002-12-09 16:12:46 ET

You're hotter then Rocc0
::touches self::
... and you have my number.


2002-12-09 23:24:03 ET

shae: that must be frustrating...but it seems like you spend a good amount of time in both locales so score for you!

insomnia: heh, i guess...

pseudo: thanks sweetie ;)

storm: how can i be hotter than rocc0? ive never once spit into a womans x-hole. but yes, i do have yoyr number ;)

2002-12-10 07:36:35 ET

Your sense of the aesthetics is clearly lacking.
::hands you a cup of NOG::

... for phlegm making purposes.


2002-12-10 07:40:35 ET

just thinking about NOG makes me phlegmmy

2002-12-10 09:18:06 ET

Can I videotape this?

2002-12-10 09:37:37 ET

well if you are taping, how will you ever participate?

2002-12-10 09:57:33 ET

I think that question can answer itself.

<---- voyeur, not participant... and being celibate

2002-12-10 09:59:54 ET

i feel that!

-creepy voice- i like to watch

2002-12-10 10:00:27 ET

-creepier voice- I like to videotape

2002-12-10 10:03:02 ET

apparantly, you just have to stand by storms window and you'll get hours of juicy footage.

then you can make millions

2002-12-10 10:04:22 ET

Ooh yeah good idea. We already had the idea to make a Storm & Insomnia calendar. I would seriously do it, she's gotta get the photographer though cause I know none and it would be done done... $$$$$$$

2002-12-10 10:21:49 ET

Dude - it's so on.
Zenas is chomping at the bit
to reproduce my image.

As long as there is lots of nudity and blood
involved, he's a happy boy.

2002-12-10 10:24:55 ET

nudity and blood? I don't wanna only sell this at porn shops... how about underwear and blood?

I'll do it any day, I have *so* many ideas!

Jan or Dec - snuggling in blankets like the pics you took
June or July - beach shots
Oct - multiple costume shots

we can do fetishy, normal, cutsey, not... damn, 12 images is a lot to play with!

I say blood in February, you know, red is all romantic and shit ;-)

2002-12-10 10:26:24 ET

storm and insomnia calendar?!?!


where do i sign up for advance copies?

2002-12-10 10:32:58 ET

nice pic's gus! i see you an storm are sporting your "sexy bitch bodies" in them :)

2002-12-10 10:36:14 ET

haha, did you notice the ghetto L[C] shirt i was rocking in that pic?

2002-12-10 10:45:39 ET

yes! hah, thats the shitz yo!

2002-12-10 10:50:48 ET

that was an awesome night. you gotta play again so that we have another mega chill

2002-12-10 10:52:51 ET

hell yea, im gonna plan something soon!

2002-12-10 10:53:31 ET

Uh oh... you better give the fan club plenty of notice, we gotta outdo our last stint!

2002-12-10 10:54:51 ET

maybe i will get real *customized* shirts made for this one! hah

2002-12-10 10:55:16 ET

thats right! hmmm, L[C] underwear?

2002-12-10 10:55:53 ET

no can do

don't like underwear.

2002-12-10 10:56:58 ET

hah, ...don't know if can afford that yet... but we can all share my underwear! haha

2002-12-10 10:57:18 ET

PROPOGANDA! ...ohh yes! you love my propoganda!

2002-12-10 10:59:37 ET

What is up w/you Chris? You wanna share clothes and now underwear? I mean, I'm glad you feel close to us and all but don't you think it's a bit much?

I know you're wearing Cruxshadows underwear anyway, and I can't be having that. . .

(btw, propAganda)

2002-12-10 11:00:47 ET

my grammar is all farced up! grr hehe

2002-12-10 11:07:29 ET

cruxshadows have underwear products? 0.0 wtf!

dont sweat it chris, justine is just an intellektual

2002-12-10 11:08:37 ET

heheh ~insomnia my bitterness~

2002-12-10 11:10:36 ET

::shivers:: don't put me in their lyrics!

And damnit Gus, I gotta do *something* with all these degrees!

2002-12-10 11:17:34 ET

you know you love it...yes you do

and those degrees will come to good use when you write your best selling book: confessions of a rivet slut

2002-12-10 11:19:46 ET

haha! "confessions" how dramatic! lol

2002-12-10 11:34:04 ET

The Decameron - 10 tales of a Gearwhore.

And I've betrayed the Kommando Kommune... I'm wearing Chris's underwear RIGHT NOW!!!

BTW - Gus gus - I've added your sexxy bitch picture to my LUVIES gallery. :) GRRRRR

2002-12-10 11:49:13 ET

so thats where they went! :P ::gets draft::

2002-12-10 11:49:40 ET

i dont actually wear chris' underwear, just rub them on my face and neck every morning

and since when i have i become a sexxxy bitch? i thought that was bio's domain!

2002-12-10 11:53:00 ET

hmmm... well since you made up the phrase "sexy bitch body" i guess by default that means you got one! hah

2002-12-10 11:55:48 ET

I dunno - I lump all you celibate types into the SEXXY BITCH category.

2002-12-10 12:00:15 ET

i guess being a sexxy bitch aint too bad

better than being called an old bag

2002-12-10 13:09:20 ET

not a gearwhore! live with one though...

2002-12-10 13:58:54 ET

thats classic: the kettle calling the pot...

2002-12-10 15:08:36 ET


2002-12-10 15:17:42 ET


2002-12-10 15:20:07 ET

HAHAHAHAHAAH *laughs and points*

2002-12-10 15:41:58 ET

am not. ::pouts::

2002-12-10 15:44:26 ET


2002-12-10 15:51:40 ET

Re: actual entry. I hear you. I so can't approach people... if they introduce themselves to me or something, than yeah, it's okay. But it's not like girls ever approached me.

2002-12-10 16:01:00 ET

it is really tough. sometimes i do it just to challange a dare. i just try to start a conversation...and ive found the simple questions work best (ie. whats your name?) it doesnt pay to try to be too clever or charming.

and most times they have a boyfriend so it doesnt even matter, youve made a friend. and i am very fine with that. thats what i want, basically.

2002-12-10 16:30:18 ET

That's the thing... everything I'd think of saying in my head always sounded waaaay too much like a line, so I'd talk myself out of.

A cute female friend is always a bonus. Can never get enough cute female friends :)

2002-12-10 16:36:01 ET

no you can't ever have enough!

things that are good icebreakers: the beforementioned name question. or just go up and start dancing with them first then start talking later. eye contact and smiles work well. a compilment on clothing, hair, shoes, dancing works most times. (but you have to mean it)

just be fine with whatever comes from it. expect nothing.

oh jeez! i'm giving advice! wtf! im a total moron when it comes to ladies! disregard everything i've said!!!

2002-12-10 16:44:17 ET

I've been told complimenting on things they can change - such as hair, shoes, clothing, etc works. Wierd.

It's a moot point, as I'm not exactly looking these days. Huzzah!

2002-12-10 16:53:25 ET

me neither. its such no-stress fun outing without that hassle!

2002-12-10 19:13:53 ET

not being online for a couple of days sucks.
way too much to read. haha.

staying on the sex topic.
i want some.

2002-12-11 06:53:32 ET

so how's the 'get squee down under for a booty call' fund working out? ;P

2002-12-11 09:12:19 ET

absolutely horrible! haha.

2002-12-11 09:24:08 ET

oh no! how much is a ticket anyways?

2002-12-11 19:05:58 ET

ticket = about $2000. heh.

2002-12-11 20:40:07 ET

dang! that is foul!

2002-12-11 20:41:49 ET

yes, extremely foul.

2002-12-12 11:21:00 ET

sorry dear :[

2002-12-12 17:01:50 ET

To get to Aus, squee? Wierd. I can get to the US (LA) and back for $1400au.

2002-12-12 17:05:02 ET

i'd imagine it'd be cheaper from LA

2002-12-12 17:19:49 ET

Yeah, I can't remember the prices off hand to other parts of the US.

2002-12-15 19:22:31 ET

well, yeah...LA is on the other side of the country ;)'s a much cheaper flight.

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