2004-07-19 01:10:58 ET|
the puppy is dead. couldn't even make it long enough to be put down, she just let herself go.
my parents are fighting.
i drank too much tonight.
i'm depressed and i'd love nothing more than to just dissappate into mist. (it isn't the alcohol.)
but i won't because i have like 8 million weasels.
after the weasels, i'm dust.
i just want happiness and love. i'm soo sick of putting all of me into relationships and having them blow up in my face. i don't deserve to not be happy. and to not have someone who for once can just admit they love me. what the hell is wrong with people these days. i don't understand it. love isn't a bad thing. but there are so many catch ups about it. and if people would just be honest things would be so much easier. i'm so young and already i feel like just medicating the shit out of me so i can't feel one fucking thing. i hate the fact i was given the largest capacity to love and i never will never recieve/see any fraction of what i give.
anything good in this life is short lived, even with it's short life expectancy, if you add me into the equation i cut down 75% of anythings life.
i want to be the one that someone would die for. i want to be the person that you can't get out of your head. just for once.
time to go wallow in self pity. it's too bad i had such a brief night of enjoyment.