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2004-07-19 01:10:58 ET the puppy is dead. couldn't even make it long enough to be put down, she just let herself go. my parents are fighting. i drank too much tonight. i'm depressed and i'd love nothing more than to just dissappate into mist. (it isn't the alcohol.) but i won't because i have like 8 million weasels. after the weasels, i'm dust. i just want happiness and love. i'm soo sick of putting all of me into relationships and having them blow up in my face. i don't deserve to not be happy. and to not have someone who for once can just admit they love me. what the hell is wrong with people these days. i don't understand it. love isn't a bad thing. but there are so many catch ups about it. and if people would just be honest things would be so much easier. i'm so young and already i feel like just medicating the shit out of me so i can't feel one fucking thing. i hate the fact i was given the largest capacity to love and i never will never recieve/see any fraction of what i give. anything good in this life is short lived, even with it's short life expectancy, if you add me into the equation i cut down 75% of anythings life. i want to be the one that someone would die for. i want to be the person that you can't get out of your head. just for once. time to go wallow in self pity. it's too bad i had such a brief night of enjoyment. |
