2005-03-09 07:55:30 ET|
Due to a lack of words to describe just what a "kro" is in Turkish, I am going to make a point in taking pictures of them. Lots of pictures, lots of kros. BEWARE -- THE KROS ARE COMING.
Today, woke up, Oğuz was grumpy jerk. So grumpy about having to go to school and do his thesis that he told me "I dont want to see you tonight, I dont want to see you for the rest of the week. I have a thesis to do.".
So, while he was in the bathroom, I put on my clothes, and left to my apartment. No breakfast. No morning sex. No coffee. No goodbye, no "have a nice day (insert cheezy disgusting pukey name here)". Nothing. Just left.
I went upstairs. I was so sad, and so upset -- but I didnt cry like my usual self. I thought.
"BKT, you've 2 options --
1. Be pissed and angry, dont forgive, make things unplesant, horrible, cut-throat BAD.
2. He might not have understood that when you tell somebody in English "I dont want to see you", especially a lover, you might as well say "fuck off bitch-face". It's a very different thing in TUrkish -- its not mean at all. Its a suggestion in Turkish, not a command. You should make him dinner tonight and be super sweet to him. He feels bad about his thesis.
So what do I do? 1 is an option. Definately. I have PMS, I could go pyro-skitzo-panic-maniac right now if I want to. 2 is also an option - a very REAL option... but he made me feel bad. He was a jerk. Im not making dinner. No way. He shouldnt be such a big baby.
In short, I think for a long time, and I come up with option #3:
"Write him a note, stick it to the door. Tell him where Im going that day. Invite him to go, and tell him that if he doesnt want to come with me that's fine -- I'll give him a 2 week vacation out of the grace of my heart if he wants it, and leave it at that."
So that's what I did. I wrote him a note (in Turkish). "Dear Oğuz, you woke up so grumpy this morning and Im sorry if I left like a grump this morning. I hope you're having better time now than this morning. Just some information for you: To say "I dont want to see you (Seni görmek istemiyorum)" suggests that you hate the person and you want them out of your life forever. I know it doesnt mean that in TUrkish and that's not what you want, you probably wanted to say "Seni görmek olmaz çünkü tezim yazıyorum(It's impossible for me to see you because Im writing my thesis).". Its ok, just be more careful next time. I was angry before, but then I thought about it and it's just a linguistical barrier. Not too big of a deal. Anyway, here's what Im up to today: If Im not at home cleaing, Im at the mall, the internet cafe, or the American Embassy. I also could be sleeping if I dont answer -- Im SUPER tired. Anyways, take care, have a good day. Ill see you 2 weeks later. Love you, Bec."
Well guess who just came home half an hour ago? Guess who read my note, and came running to the internet cafe with CHOCOLATE and a big sad puppydog face???? Guess who's sorry? Guess who's note worked? Guess who got an apology and is super happy about it? Oğuz came home and read the note. Then, he went running to the internet cafe with chocolate and a big sad puppydog face. He's sorry. My note worked. I got an apology and Im super happy!
SO now, Im going to my apartment. Im going to eat chocolate. Im going to unpack my stuff into my new bedroom in my new apartment. And then, before going to bed, Im going to wish Oğuz a goodnight with a big kiss, and go plan wedding stuff.