Her zaman aşkın seni kaybetmiş ( Your passion will quit you every time)
2005-03-22 08:44:22 ET

I got my Turkish Residence Permit picture taken today. I look like a very scary mix between a frog and Miss Piggy -- possibly the lovechild of Kermit and Miss Piggy herself...

I wrote a whole thing for my TOEFL program and THEN, I forgot to save it and shut off the computer, took out the disk, and went home. Ne kadar zeki ya.

Then, I was browsing around on the web -- found a link from somebody's journal leading to live journal thus leading me to look at the journals of my old bandmates. One is still mean, one is still fragile, one is still wierd (and as much as herself as ever). So what??....

So, they all still make music. But guess who hasnt in a long time? Yeah, me. Why? Because all of my songs seem so immature... Ive grown up SO much since writing them at 16. That doesnt mean they're bad... they're just... old. And I need something new, but nothing comes to me. AFter writing 12 floppies of MS Word documents songs with tablitures, you run out of chord patterns and melodies. I used to play in Pittsburgh all the time -- I had a FOLLOWING until I jetted off to Turkey. I could sing AND play AND write....

Muzik kaybettim -- Ive lost music.

Hasiktir. Fuck.

Şimdi napacam? Now what am I gonna do?

Yazacam Türkçede? Olmaz. Asla. Write in Turkish? Impossible. Never.

Neden? Why -- BECAUSE YOU CANT RHYME ANYTHING GOOD IN TURKISH. Olmaz, gerçekten (impossible, seriously).

O zaman... so... beyinim İngilizce ala Türka. My brains is English a la Turk. YETER!!!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!!


French. Fucking French. Poorly spelled French. HASIKTIR. Erm FUCK erm ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2005-03-22 13:13:18 ET

i dunno...i think miss piggy and kermit made a sexy lady ::Mreow:: lol but serious, it's not that bad! all IDs and passport pics look terrible (i blame bright lighting). If i had my scanner here, i'd show u mine.

2005-03-22 15:05:02 ET


2005-03-23 02:23:37 ET

Klem-meister: Thanks! :) I wish I could see your ID pic!

Tetesuro: yeah! That's what I SAID! I did originally, but the photographer yelled at me and said "GÜLME KIZ! BU BIR PASAPOR FOTO -- MAGAZIN İÇİN DEĞIL! (DONT SMILE, GIRL! THIS IS A PASSPORT PHOTO -- NOT A MAGAZINE SHOOT!)

Lol yeah :)

2005-03-23 12:26:59 ET

oh it's horrible! nothing like the new and improved me, no bleached hair, no facial hair. Look like i'm 15.

2005-03-23 17:08:25 ET

That's sad! When I took my learner's permit photo, the lady told me to smile and not to make it look as if it's a mugshot.

2005-03-24 07:37:16 ET

kinda random here... is this a turkish toilet?

2005-03-24 09:10:39 ET

something like it, yes, but only with one exception -- its wider, longer, and it doesnt have that curve thing on the back. That is a picture of something similar that I have been pissing in for 7 months.

2005-03-24 09:11:28 ET

.... does it splash on your feet?

2005-03-24 09:19:34 ET

HAH! That's the LEAST of my worries -- Im more afraid that Im gonna fall in ass first like the FIRST time I tried at Oğuz's uncle's house!

2005-03-24 09:23:06 ET


2005-03-24 09:27:23 ET


Seriously -- I fell down ASS-FIRST. I want to make a movie about this whole inter-cultural experience. Know anybody who would sit down with me and listen to me talk for hours and write down what I wanna say?

2005-03-24 09:37:27 ET

I will gladly RECORD what you have to say but I can't write that fast.

2005-03-24 09:41:21 ET

cool beans! pm is coming...

2005-03-24 09:42:31 ET

ahhaha I meant on a tape recorder over a nice lunch but ok PM's work too.

2005-03-24 09:43:35 ET

lol! no no -- READ the PM

2005-03-24 09:46:59 ET

oh ok wow that could be fun... read the pm =p

2005-03-24 14:50:50 ET

ooo PMs....

2005-03-26 01:07:37 ET

SS -- maybe we should try and get Klemmy in on this too?...

2005-03-26 01:08:07 ET

ooo yes!

2005-03-28 05:48:01 ET

yeah we should LOL

2005-03-29 08:42:30 ET

right on yay! YAPACAM!

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