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2005-03-22 08:44:22 ET I got my Turkish Residence Permit picture taken today. I look like a very scary mix between a frog and Miss Piggy -- possibly the lovechild of Kermit and Miss Piggy herself...  I wrote a whole thing for my TOEFL program and THEN, I forgot to save it and shut off the computer, took out the disk, and went home. Ne kadar zeki ya. Then, I was browsing around on the web -- found a link from somebody's journal leading to live journal thus leading me to look at the journals of my old bandmates. One is still mean, one is still fragile, one is still wierd (and as much as herself as ever). So what??.... So, they all still make music. But guess who hasnt in a long time? Yeah, me. Why? Because all of my songs seem so immature... Ive grown up SO much since writing them at 16. That doesnt mean they're bad... they're just... old. And I need something new, but nothing comes to me. AFter writing 12 floppies of MS Word documents songs with tablitures, you run out of chord patterns and melodies. I used to play in Pittsburgh all the time -- I had a FOLLOWING until I jetted off to Turkey. I could sing AND play AND write.... Muzik kaybettim -- Ive lost music. Hasiktir. Fuck. Şimdi napacam? Now what am I gonna do? Yazacam Türkçede? Olmaz. Asla. Write in Turkish? Impossible. Never. Neden? Why -- BECAUSE YOU CANT RHYME ANYTHING GOOD IN TURKISH. Olmaz, gerçekten (impossible, seriously). O zaman... so... beyinim İngilizce ala Türka. My brains is English a la Turk. YETER!!!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!! WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!? I SERIOUSLY CANT JUST WRITE IN ONE LANGUAGE! CEST IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! French. Fucking French. Poorly spelled French. HASIKTIR. Erm FUCK erm ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! |
