2012-04-22 07:22:29 ET|
My Grandad died last night. I found out through Facebook. First, I read a status update by my uncle, then my aunt sent me a message asking for my dad's phone number. She mentioned the death in passing. Something like: "Can I get your dad's phone number? Your Grandad died and I wanna tell him. THX!"
Am I really not worth a phone call? If Facebook didn't exist or if I didn't use it, would anyone have bothered to tell me?
He was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer about two years ago. They said he'd only have a few months to live. So, they planned a family reunion for everyone to have one last fun summer with him. It's sort of a strange thing to do, but a nice gesture. I wasn't invited. I found out through my mom of all people. She heard something about it from my grandma and called me to see if I was going. It was too last minute notice and I couldn't afford the airfare, so I didn't go. No one cared.
Come to find out ALL of my cousins airfare was paid for.
So, I can draw only one conclusion from this: My dad's family are a bunch of self-centered, over-dramatic assholes. HOW DO YOU FORGET ABOUT SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY? How does a niece just slip your mind. No, they actively decided it would not be important for me to spend time with them or with Grandad. They actively decided I didn't need to know he passed or that I would figure it out and that was good enough.
I can understand how my family would be better off without me, but that doesn't change the fact that they are family. Doesn't that bloodline connection mean that I have at least a handful of people in the world who love me unconditionally and without judgement?
I'm sad that my Grandad is gone, I'm pissed that my family has forgotten me and I have no idea what to do about it. If I turn my back on them in spite, aren't I just sinking to their level?
I just hope someone tells me where the funeral will be. A date and time would be a miracle.