2003-01-12 07:40:22 ET

i think that myself and doktor242 should get a place in coney island

and that i should attend Brooklyn College, double majoring in philosophy and electronics.

to me, it makes sense.

but then again, so does a trailer park in Bayonne.

tell me what i missed at das ich last night.. im sure it was crowded as per usual batcave... i ended up working, and now i'm up early and i dont know what to do with myself if i'm not at club or working.

i feel like i should be doing something important but i dont know what it is.

i miss florida.

once again i am falling victim to my tendency to be happy anywhere else but where i am.

"Life is like a hospital where everyone is obsessed with switching beds."


and in other news, fucking kill me.

2003-01-12 07:46:57 ET

<<<<<once again i am falling victim to my tendency to be happy anywhere else but where i am. >>>>>

Oh man do I hear you on this. I too have that tendency to run places thinking that will solve what ever is wrong with my head. Last week i thought I should move back to florida...this week it's LA. i so wish moving away could solve things....

and i didn't see das ich either though I am waiting for the news that it was too damn crowded, the sound sucked and/or the bands were terrible. how many times can you see terrorfakt before you get fed up?

2003-01-12 07:47:39 ET

Coney Island? You want my synths to get stolen?

I don't want to live anywhere where I need bars on my windows. also, Coney Island's a crap option right now, b/c none of the trains go there except the W until late 2004.

Sheepshead Bay. It's gonna be huge.

2003-01-12 08:56:27 ET


its walking distance i guess, you're right about the trains...
the train outage means its only gets more insular and inbred, and the only people there are the HUD skumme


yeah i was on the phone w/my mom this morning, talking about 'when the lease runs up maybe i can stay there for a month' although my mom's is a crack den... what i make and blow in a month here covers 3 or 4 months rent in Florida...

i could have moved to Savannah, GA, with this guy (you may have seen him around @ limelight back in the day) but i didnt want to run again, repeat my pattern.

i dont know if i'm glad i didn't or not. for all i know i could be living a perfect life and going to SCAD right now... i just didnt want to be impulsive... so i stayed.. and i guess i'll never know...

2003-01-12 12:28:56 ET

There is a reason you stayed here though. Even if you dont know it now. Not to get all Taoist on you or amnything but life does have a natural balance to it. With all the bad comes the good and out of the terrible comes something redeemable. And though it may be awful now something good will come out of this. You just have to wade it out.

But on the flip side I feel like I am so close to running again...i feel you completely. I know how hard it is to sit still when things fall apart, it's so much easier to turn your head and run.

2003-01-12 13:52:28 ET

Stick around sickbox. i've been all over, and there's nowhere better than here.


Oh, and DbD, that Georgia guy looks like a goober (ala Mikey,) but from what you've told me, he's actually pretty neat.

2003-01-12 15:50:16 ET

Go to college.
Get a better job. The ones you're carrying now are too demeaning for you. I know you can do better.

Live somewhere nice, make sure you enjoy it.

2003-01-12 15:54:39 ET

Bio speaks the truth.

2003-01-13 09:50:54 ET

As all of us know, or should, or pretend to...
Painting your jail cell purple may change your perspective for a few days... but...

Dreams of relocation hint seductively of release, regrowth, the essence of the RE. We all know that the real RE's start inside - we are the only palate resilient and plastic enough to support the process of beginning again, over and over.

Sometimes a BIG jump can help shock our systems back to life... "CLEAR!!!" But sometimes all you need to do is shut the door.

2003-01-13 14:15:18 ET

bayonne?? hahah, why not move into a black hole instead, jersey 4 life :)

2003-01-13 15:04:23 ET

heheh, nothing wrong with bayonne =)

2003-01-13 15:50:20 ET

yea but at least you live in a house.. not a trailer :)

2003-01-13 15:58:33 ET

lol we don't have trailers in bayonne, fool! what does this look like, fucking texas? hehehe

2003-01-13 16:01:24 ET

I dunno... NJ is pretty backwards.

2003-01-13 16:02:33 ET

there are trailer parks in CT and i saw one in hackensack! so i know jersey has them

2003-01-13 16:10:00 ET

Relocating can be interesting but it isn't the answer. You just end up wasting a few months or a year getting everything in order and picking up a new routine and then you're back to being disillusioned. What it comes down to is that no matter where you live you just can't change your thought processes on life and living. . . you can do different things, but some notions are just engrained in personality. . .

2003-01-13 19:43:51 ET

Stay the course. I will help you as I can.

  Return to death by design's page