not sure....
2004-04-29 19:38:20 ET

this week has gone by so quick its strange to know that

im gonna be out of school in 5 weeks i mean its great but

its like where the hell did the year go... it went by so

quick its crazy but anyways ive decided to go sober... its

crazy i know cause im always drinking or doing other

things but ive decided to do this for me because when i

drink i just drink way to much and then i black out and

dont remember things for hours at a time its really scary

and im tired of making an ass of myself thats also why im

gonna stop really kickin it with some people for a while

too till some things boil over i dunno i think im just

gonna keep to myself for the next few weeks till summer

starts cause i really need to focus on getting my shit

together i dunno i think ive gone depressed i just have

felt so lonely lately and i dont know why cause usually im

always up beat and happy things have been doing really

good lately too well except for some things but i mean

just i dunno i cant even explain i think im just lonely

cause i want a b/f really bad and i havent been able to

find a good one and i hate walking around all the time and

see how happy people are with their b/f's and g/f's it

just sucks ass cause i really wanna have that bond with

someone and be close to someone and love someone like that

but i know thats not going to happen anytime soon and as

hard as i try to find a guy its like they dont

respond....FUCK i hate this

2004-05-01 05:09:39 ET

it just means that you need to come visit me over here :)

2004-05-01 22:14:37 ET

cyndi i do i hella miss you and i really want to meet your husband awww......

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