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2004-04-29 19:38:20 ET this week has gone by so quick its strange to know that im gonna be out of school in 5 weeks i mean its great but its like where the hell did the year go... it went by so quick its crazy but anyways ive decided to go sober... its crazy i know cause im always drinking or doing other things but ive decided to do this for me because when i drink i just drink way to much and then i black out and dont remember things for hours at a time its really scary and im tired of making an ass of myself thats also why im gonna stop really kickin it with some people for a while too till some things boil over i dunno i think im just gonna keep to myself for the next few weeks till summer starts cause i really need to focus on getting my shit together i dunno i think ive gone depressed i just have felt so lonely lately and i dont know why cause usually im always up beat and happy things have been doing really good lately too well except for some things but i mean just i dunno i cant even explain i think im just lonely cause i want a b/f really bad and i havent been able to find a good one and i hate walking around all the time and see how happy people are with their b/f's and g/f's it just sucks ass cause i really wanna have that bond with someone and be close to someone and love someone like that but i know thats not going to happen anytime soon and as hard as i try to find a guy its like they dont respond....FUCK i hate this |
