The things people say.... (A rant, be forwarned)
2003-10-15 12:18:53 ET

Alright, to preface my little rant, i'll explain what spurned it.
Last night a friend who moved to Az (Jordan), and I haven't seen in a year, was supposed to come over and hang out.
To make a long story short, hours later he shows up with an acquaintance/semi-friend of mine (Ben) and we go to the Pub for a couple of Pints. I'm not a drinker in the first place, plus I spend money i can't afford, to celebrate his visit. I'm ignored the whole time there and to the walk back to Ben's, so i turn and go home.
They can't understand why i felt put out. I finally talked to one of them, and when i said i felt like a third wheel....

Ok, now we're up to my rant about the stupid things people (and I find myself not totally without blame) say.

when i said i went home because i felt like a third wheel, he said, of course "dude, that was never the intention".

No shit

how many times do we say things like that? "never meant to upset you."; "never meant to make you feel put out"; "i never set out to cheat on you"; "didn't mean to drop that anvil on your foot"......

No shit

Does anyone really wake up one morning and go "you know, I'm going to hurt my friend's feelings" or "i think my goal today is to cheat on my spouse" or even "gee, wouldn't it be swell to make so-and-so feel like a third wheel?"

For some odd reason, we feel that stating the blatantly obvious is some form of excuse. that it absolves us in some way (who knows, maybe for the sheer fact of showing our own stupidity).

I have found that we say these things, not because we find them the right thing to say, or because we can't do any better, but out of sheer habit.

YOUR MISSION (if you chose to accept it):

If not break free, at least try to be able to observe and analyze those daily habits in your life that keep you from thinking and instead react mechanically.

I'd love to hear any other insights, or results that you might have. Or not... I know this involves that nasty and offensive "E-word", Effort.

another pointless rant, by your humble narrator.


2003-10-15 12:20:49 ET

Awesome post.
Thanks for the inspiration!

2003-10-15 12:48:27 ET

Sorry love...I laughed my ass off reading this. I am terribly sorry that this happened to you...but yeah your Captin Obvious speach made my eyes water!

2003-10-15 12:52:36 ET

Good! Not much heals the soul better than laughter, and in these trying times, we could all use it.

2003-10-15 13:52:13 ET

I never considered it before . . . I'll try to be a bit more observant; thanks.

2003-10-15 14:08:37 ET

iv always thought that when somebody hurts you...and they decide that because they "didnt mean to" that that is a sufficent apology or what have you....
ya know what else has always bugged me...people who are your "friends" or not whatever...they say something, insinuate soemthing, visualize someting negative, usually hurtful, about you and laugh like it is a big joke...then when you act hurt or say something...your being the jerk..and then comes the line..."it was just a joke, i didnt mean it, i dont really thingk that, " etc etc etc if you really didnt think this about me, why would you of said would already of had to been in your head for you to think of verbalizing wouldnt just make up something that wasnt true, that wouldnt be funny of course....i had a friend who used to draw unflattering pictures of people and draw out all their bad features and point them out then say " oh come on you know i dont mean it its just a joke, everyone else thinks its funny." its like...sure you drew me fat with tons of acne and a saggy butt and made me look like the twins from the cartoon doug but sure you think im beautiful anyway....whatever the logic of this has always escaped me....there is my rant for the day...

your welcome

2003-10-15 14:15:44 ET

Well I am glad that you are not upset with me for laughing. I know how I stand on it..since we had a short conversation...but just the way it is written and the way my day is going...I just couldn't stop laughing.

2003-10-15 16:04:52 ET

I think that for the most part, people are so self-centered that they don't take the time to consider how their actions will affect those around them.

That being said, instead of actually thinking about something done in error, bleating out that it wasn't -intended- doesn't detract from the action itself.

I'm blathering.

2003-10-16 18:41:10 ET

I've been on that road for years, dear heart. And Syb, you never blather. ^^'

2003-10-16 18:57:31 ET

Ohhh.. I blather, hon. You'll find that out soon enough. :P

2003-10-16 23:36:24 ET

Well, I enjoy ALL the coments. And if I can rant and rave, why can't everyone else?

2003-10-17 07:57:55 ET

amen brother.

there's this thing - it's called paying fucking attention. it takes a little practice, but enables one to notice of one's friends are down, feeling left out, or otherwise Not OK. yeah, people are so often lazy and stupid.

2003-10-17 09:03:14 ET

It's a good thing that they can learn. ^^'

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