...the harshness of life... also titled: Poem written Today
2004-10-08 11:14:54 ET

The Corruption of my Youth

Eight years of Love and Trust torn from me
I found her, so long ago, she was supposed to be my salvation.
She was 29, I was only 15...
Already at such a young age, I was disillusioned with the world,
Ready to lay down and die.

She came and convinced me to live,
Promised me Love,
Promised me Friendship.
Taught me about Soulmates...

True, I had not always been in love with only her.
Though, when have I ever been in love with just one?
Is that not my nature?
Does not everyone who knows me see this and accept it?
But, I try my hardest never to be dishonest about this fact,
Never to keep anyone in the dark, or felt lied to,
Always tried to explain my love and admiriation for many,
Rather than let those I cared about think someone could replace them,
Or diminish there presence in my eyes, in any way.

I sit here,
Now realizing the last eight years of my life,
Have been lived in a giant lie.
My whole development since fifteen has been contaminated.
The most fundimental years in my metamorphasis into an adult.
Have I been manipulated the entire time, was none of it real?

How does one start over,
How does one rebuild or recover?
When the lie,
The pain and damage,
Began at such a young and critical age?

2004-10-08 11:24:26 ET

Ouch - not sure what to say about all of that other than a good friend of mine experienced something similar a few years ago - he had been in a long term committed relationship with someone since his early teens as well - had planned his whole life and worldview with her - then one day she just left - and he spent the next few years picking up the pieces, figuring out who he really is - sad to say, but its only been very recently that he's what I'd say "leveled out" Best of everything to you.

What part of Florida were you in?

2004-10-09 00:46:16 ET

Lake Worth, last. I was born and raised around the West Palm area (Lake Worth being just south of...)

2004-10-09 06:49:43 ET

Ah gotcha - I've always been in more the central, to north central-yeeeehaw-Florida area....

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