2005-04-11 17:42:50 ET|
The Corruption of my Youth
Eight years of Love and Trust torn from me
I found her, so long ago, she was supposed to be my salvation.
She was 29, I was only 15...
Already at such a young age, I was disillusioned with the world,
Ready to lay down and die.
She came and convinced me to live,
Promised me Love,
Promised me Friendship.
Taught me about Soulmates...
True, I had not always been in love with only her.
Though, when have I ever been in love with just one?
Is that not my nature?
Does not everyone who knows me see this and accept it?
But, I try my hardest never to be dishonest about this fact,
Never to keep anyone in the dark, or felt lied to,
Always tried to explain my love and admiriation for many,
Rather than let those I cared about think someone could replace them,
Or diminish their presence in my eyes, in any way.
I sit here,
Now realizing the last eight years of my life,
Have been lived in a giant lie.
My whole development since fifteen has been contaminated.
The most fundemental years in my metamorphasis into an adult.
Have I been manipulated the entire time, was none of it real?
How does one start over,
How does one rebuild or recover?
When the lie,
The pain and damage,
Began at such a young and critical age?