2005-04-26 09:00:27 ET|
I dropped out at 17. This was after, during my 16th yr, my ex-stepdad attacked me at, one of my sisters (I'm the youngest of 8 by 20 years) commited suicide, and i was forced out on my own. I dropped out mostly to take care of - a.k.a: play Father to - my two great-nephews, since my nephew couldn't do it on his own after his mom died.
I finally got around to getting my GED at 18. I went back to school like a year later, and took a full course load. Well, that was a bit too much for me since I hadn't been to school in like over two years, and slacked off during highschool, only participating in like discussions that interested me and whatnot, reading my own books or sleeping most of the rest of the time. Hence, it's not surprising that I ended up dropping out less than half-way through. I tried again the next year, but, that time I suffered a MAJOR heartbreak, and my will to do anything but curl up and die left me. I dropped out again.
I just finished going back to school (only one class) for my Nursing Assistant certification, passed my State Boards, and plan on continuing for my RN, and then progressing on from there. (Interested in both the Psych field, and Tropical Medicine and Epidemic/Pathogen Control - with a perticular affinity for the Viral Hemmoragic Fevers - and hope to try to work for the WHO and DEFINATLY will voluneteer with Doctors Without Borders).
Now, if you'd ask me my major interests, you wouldn't get medicine (well, maybe Psych) as one of my top 10. Anthropology, Comparitive Theology, Philosophy, and Liberal and Utopian Politics are my main passions. I also have a very soft spot for the written word, being a writer myself (Poet, mainly).
Try finding work in these fields. I've done ALOT of jobhunting in my life and I have yet to see an Ad looking for an 'Aspiring Theological Scholar' No "Desprately seeking Philosophers or 'Those interested in the culture of Man, dating into pre-history'..." Never seen "Poets Wanted". Sure, you can make a living as those things, usually in a University setting, and it will take you a Ph.D to get started. I don't know about you, but I never had 8 years to spend going to school full time while daddy paid for everything. I had to feed myself.
The point to this rambling little side-stream is,
One: Most of the time what interests you, and what can pay the bills are two TOTALLY different things.
...Ok... That's pretty logical, nothing too revolutionary there.
Two: Working just to pay the bills and ignoring your true "inner-callings" leaves you only Physically exausted and Spiritually and Emotionally empty. Sure, you can forget about all of that by trying to copete with the Jones', but only temporarily. It's always there, nagging at you. One starts to see no real point or meaning in life.
Three: The goal of the individual thereby has to be to find a way to reconcile one's interests and desires with one's need for survival in a materialisic society. Find something you can BEAR doing. Somewhere that the thought of going to doesn't want to make you eat the barrel of a gun after 6 months, a year, maybe a couple... Spend as musch effort as possible following your heart and your true interests. As the great Anthropologist and Athority on Mythology - Joseph Campbell<sp?> - said: "Follow your Bliss".
Four: Now here's where it all ties in - Pay VERY close attention in your life to Syncronisities, especially those having to do with what you deem your "calling" to be. You will start to see a way open up between survival and fufillment. It will not come all at once, it will not even come as a path hazily coming out of the fog. It's more like looking at an impassible river, and then all of a sudden you notice a stone you can step out on - risky, but closer to your goal. Then from there, and it may take time, you will notice another, then another.
It may take you a VERY long time from there, but once you get to that point it becomes almost invigorating,like the rush of watching 'Shooting Stars' for a while and anticipating where they will come from next. The quest becomes the goal. Attainment can be achieved.
ALWAYS REMEMBER: You must survive, yes, but "DON'T SELL YOUR SOUL TO FEED YOUR BELLY"!!!!
.....or maybe I've just done too much Acid, and will wake up in the hospital with all of this just being a bad trip and all of you being people I just hallucinated..... As comforting as that sounds, to just be hallucinating Republicans, I doubt very much that it's true. ...one can always hope though, right?
"I bless you all living things. I bless you in the Infinite Past, I bless you in the Infinite Present, I Bless you in the Infinite Future" -J. Kerouac
"You must BE the Change you wish to see in this World!" -Gandhi
May the Peace and the Love of the Dharma bless you, keep you, and teach you Truth.