2006-07-09 23:51:33 ET|
...ok... see, I got this very positive, syncronistic, harmonious, and spiritual Tarot reading (on a Thoth deck, none the less) by someone just sitting on the street-corner, before everything went all to shit, spiriling me down into my suicidal depression.
Now, since then, it seems as if there is almost some 'protective force' that is not allowing me to harm myself. I have had one similar instance of something like this - though it was a bit more dramatic.
This is both frustrating, disconcerting, and somewhat slightly uplifting at the same time. It gives one hope that there is a purpose for one's existance, that one is - at least somewhat - on the right path.
On the other hand, enviornmental situations don't seem to get better. In fact, they can seem to get worse. How does one reconcile their spiritual 'calling' with their apparent faliure in the 'material world' -which is, unfortunatly, nessicary for survival?
....yeah, sorry... I get ultra-philosophical when I get in these moods....