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2003-02-12 20:30:10 ET I should try to keep writing. I always do this to myself - write nonstop for a week or so, and then have a break that's sometimes a day, sometimes a week long. then I'll just pick it up again. and I don't think that's "healthy." Tonight I saw a short film by a sophmore here at school, (it was good. I've seen a lot worse, story-wise, but I've seen a lot better, production-wise) and at the end, the audience called for a speech, and he stood in front of everyone and cried, and even said "we're making films. We're living the dream." and it just makes me realize how cynical I've become when I can't even understand why someone could get that emotional about the piece of "art" they just made, and how much effort they put into something. I'm producing a film this semester, that is a 16 minute long music video, made up of 12 short films, each with it's own director and it's own story... I've been working on it for over a year now... I've put my heart and soul into it... but I don't think I could cry because of it. I don't think I'd even think of saying I was "living the dream" because there's so much life ahead of me, and so much better I could do. I'm wasting so much of my own time and money on something that probably won't even get me a job, cause I can't show it to anyone, cause I don't have the rights to any of this... now I'm babbling. see? this is what I'm saying. this is where my writing should come from. or maybe just my cynicism. I often hear about writers being praised for their "biting cynicism" or wit. I don't think I have either. my cynicism is more like a blunt tool than a bite. *sigh* I really should be sleeping. is this BLOGing? goddam. I fall in love with folk music so easily. it's kinda funny. 1:00-1:30 |
