2003-11-21 04:11:05 ET|
i'm having trouble lately thinking of reasonable things.
of things that are within my means.
perhaps i've always been this way...
but, this time it's for a whole purpose.
maybe i'm extremely selfish, but i feel like even if this puts me in a hole that i've been in for my entire life, it is totally worth it. i hear that i need to think realistic, but i dont even think i know what that is.
if i asked my sister what she thought, i think she would tell me that if love has something to do with it, (knowing my track record) she would probably do what i want to do.
seeing as how i'm a very impatient person, and this is the first time i've actually done more than just thought i felt something, the unrealistic hole seems appealing.
i need a good back rub, and some awesome company.
then i think i'll sell my soul to something i don't believe in.
i want to know what its like to feel happy again.