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2003-11-21 04:11:05 ET i'm having trouble lately thinking of reasonable things. of things that are within my means. perhaps i've always been this way... but, this time it's for a whole purpose. maybe i'm extremely selfish, but i feel like even if this puts me in a hole that i've been in for my entire life, it is totally worth it. i hear that i need to think realistic, but i dont even think i know what that is. if i asked my sister what she thought, i think she would tell me that if love has something to do with it, (knowing my track record) she would probably do what i want to do. seeing as how i'm a very impatient person, and this is the first time i've actually done more than just thought i felt something, the unrealistic hole seems appealing. i need a good back rub, and some awesome company. then i think i'll sell my soul to something i don't believe in. stupid? i'm sure. i want to know what its like to feel happy again. |
