|torpor.||2002-12-03 11:53:51 ET|
the last few days i've been clawing at walls
i have nothing to do and nothing to wake up for,
though i can't sleep anyway. when i do the dreams have teeth. side affects may including listlessness, fatigue, nausea, sliver-glimpses of god, and stupid urges associated with boredom: females, alcohol, tobacco and firearms, spending money for entertainment, the need for love, the need for attention, the need for socialization in general. i feel pathetic again, and i want to tear myself in two and spill all over the floor.
i'm completely self-sufficient when i'm working because i am in control. i am a fucking mess if i'm not.
furthermore i don't have any pants.