Happy thanks giving everyone!
It turns out the people at the phone co lied and we in fact cannot get DSL or cable and the dial up that we got is so bad we are going to tell them to shove it. However; satelite is an option of last and most exspensive resort. Being as I am addicted to you people I will sell something(not weapon related) and go for it.
Satellite is expensive but is totally worth it. To really get your money's worth I would set up the whole house for wireless and even consider setting up a server for music or something.