2002-09-08 18:01:37 ET|
school is going well.
its a funny thing we call life. its so full of experience and emotion. we can sit around and cry or think. i'm not saying that crying is bad.. 'tis a good thing. in moderation. i feel so compelled to help out everyone. but i can't. its such a shame.
at times i feel useless and afraid. but of what i could not say. i can't explain it myself. i get upset and melancholy for reasons that are unattainable. why can't people just get along? can we not accept that there is pain and suffering and that we are all human. all equal. we all bleed. we all feel. have we no respect for those who have got us this far. who have helped us on out journey through this life?
i contemplate suicide daily. but why.. i couldn't tell you. i'm happy with this life i have. i want to hurt myself. and i want to live. i think that i want to hurt myself to feel like i live. to feel that i am still alive. its almost as if i deserve it. to feel pain. but i am happy. twisted.