"We should never forget our power as living creatures. It was people who took sampled culture and put it in test tubes for further economic use, it was people who turned resistance into a neon sign, it was people who covered up nature with strip malls and strip joints, factories and fast food freeways and so it is people who can tear it all down."
--Typed from the Severed Head Of State 7" released on Ebullition
rae | <3 tattoos | Nurse | Sexpert | <BR>
A cynic. A critic. A beauty. Rough around the edges
2008-02-20 15:57:54 ET
i am so utterly lost. i feel like a stranger in my skin.. who is this stranger walking around my house? talking to my friends? making out with my boyfriend? who is this fucker who took over my life?
i long since lost what makes me tick.. what makes me care.. and what motivates me. i want to say that i don't care, but the truth is that i do. if i didn't care i wouldn't feel like a douchebag who had everything and totally just fubared it. i smoked enough weed to ensure that i slept through my alarms, and couldn't focus in class. i've managed to vomit everytime i feel anxious and scared, which has ensured that i don't leave the house. ive gotten fat and miserable. what have i done? and how do i fix this?
perhaps the sole problem is that i want others to pity me and baby me back to sanity. but from the bottom of my heart i know thats not true. i got here, and i can get out. i just need to work and push myself. push harder. be stronger and have the courage to know i can do this. its been so long since i've even thought that i could do anything, and now i've got to muster it together if im ever to get where i need to go.
at least if i was stoned i wouldn't have the thought capacity to worry or feel bad.. fuck
2007-03-03 11:01:12 ET
i got a snake today :) its a baby albino corn snake.. its so kewl.. ive yet to think of a name .. it usualyl takes me a few days. hes huddled in the corner..
so i saw an old friend of mine today. .we ususalyl can't set our differences behind us but today was awesome. we got a long brilliantly.. and it made me feel really good.. its good to see good change.
|to the beginning|
2007-02-24 08:14:04 ET
i am thinking back on all of this. all of who i was. who i am and who i am becoming. i feel like ive had some kind of epiphany. and i feel a great sense of melancholy drawn upon me.
what are these trivial things? should i wait? wait until i no longer want to be settled with this love? with this wonderfully comfortable part of my life? yet in the meantime long for something else...? because i don\'t feel as if its more i am aftr. this is amazing, but its not it.
do you think they sell it on ebay?
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