On a platter to be critiqued...
2004-02-18 21:40:05 ET

Well... so I'm in a writing frenzy. I wrote three yesterday... wrote this today. Craziness. It's about seeing the person you want taken by someone you know. And you know this person is fake and nothing good but they are your friend so you just let it happen and watch the one thing you desire leave you for him... this is not a current event but one from the past. Enjoy.

"The Parting of Time"

The assault of brain and mouth
Between the ears of the possessed
Marked by conceit and feelings dark to the core
Misunderstood standing to be corrected
Flow by mouth well past when the jaw becomes sore
And dull lifeless lies in the wells of the disconnected

Like flies circling the plagued and starving
Starving for a second chance at failure
Smug and without remorse passing and dying
Never learning to listen and react
Just a temporary image left to never interact
Only fading as the projector flips the scene

Is the lens blurry or was that an answer?

Emission of phrases and words is better than none
It just seems to be far fleeting and misleading
Rather than something true

Bonds are broken on the chemist's plate
As the creation of a ghost becomes the origin of the unoriginal
Leaving the others to listen with wonder as the recordings of stories and lessons
Mindgames and transgressions rewrite themselves in his breath
Dimensionless images leap across his teeth
Like the flicking of a fiery reptile's tongue

Sinister and merciless are the tools of the carpenter's misguided
Unloved and unloyal
Sorrowful and embattled
His moment to rise has come home with you
Buying into the speech and entrapping the prey
One and one in the same planned timing

So this is the way you want to go out
To flicker and die like an irradiated perspective on a negative touched by the sun
When you could have hung on the wall besides me

And this is when the reel skips you out of my sight

2004-02-19 06:45:42 ET

ooooo im liking it

2004-02-19 19:25:55 ET

I really like it. Keep posting it all, I love reading it.

2004-02-23 09:35:48 ET

Thank you both very much!!

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