2008-06-15 21:32:26 ET

"'Do you remember the lake?' she said, in an abrupt voice, under the pressure of an emotion which caught her heart, made the muscles of her throat stiff, and contracted her lips in a spasm as she said 'lake.' For she was a child, throwing bread to the ducks, between her parents, and at the same time a grown woman coming to her parents who stood by the lake, holding her life in her arms which, as she neared them, grew larger and larger in her arms, until it became a whole life, a complete life, which she put down by them and said, 'This is what I have made of it! This!' And what had she made of it? What, indeed? sitting there sewing this morning with Peter."
- Mrs. Dalloway

I did my second photo shoot a few days ago, with this great guy named Alex. He had me wear that slightly more formal but kind of tattered gown with the matching wrist gloves I wore to the masquerade ball and Cabaret and a gorgeous long coat (not together) in front of a red-and-black painting as a backdrop, and also had this idea of seminude stuff: haha, he got on a little stepladder and poured water on my hair and we gathered it up and draped it around my neck and fanned it out across my chest. It was a nice idea; kind of dark and atmospheric. I went totally sans makeup this time. I got along with him better than the first photographer.

There's been some drama lately with Nick and me. (Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise.) Actually, it's pretty horrible. I was sad and depressed and morbid and sick and dreading. I've really been bad this time. And I am so selfish and uncaring, and untouched by anyone in a way. I don't even understand why myself sometimes.

Reading and loving Mrs. Dalloway.

I like ice cream. That's really what's nice about living. Just eating ice cream or sitting in the sun or something. Everything else is more complicated, even if a better kind of joy.

I registered for ENGL 284: Beginning Short Story Writing, ART H 380: 19th- and 20th-Century Art, CLAS 430: Greek and Roman Mythology, and PSYCH 357: Psychobiology of Women for autumn quarter. I'm not sure about the last one and want to switch into MATH 111 (Algebra with Applications, heh; if I have to take a math course, I'll take the easiest one possible).

I always notice that crack in the concrete in the little alcove before the bus stop. It looks like a vein of the ground laid open or something.

2008-06-16 11:04:58 ET

You should post some of the pictures from your photoshoots here. Hopefully you'll get more from Alex soon.

2008-06-16 21:59:17 ET

Nick, Nick, you are so bland!

2008-06-17 07:14:10 ET

What, what, why am I so bland?

2008-06-17 09:09:06 ET

I don't know, I don't know, why are you?

2008-06-17 10:04:58 ET

You're the one who said it. All I said is that you should post those incredibly beautiful pictures of your incredibly beautiful self.

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