ROCK OF AGES! JESUS IS A ROCK!

De Funkt 2003-01-31 12:21:13 ET Okay, so I'm trying to quit smoking cigerettes for real. I'm going to copy down and analyze what I have written on a little pad of paper that I'm keeping with me. The words that I write on this pad of paper are paraphrased, incomplete ideas that sort of come and go. When I quit smoking, these concepts fly through my mind and it starts to delude my concentration. So I'm trying to see if this approach can help. Anyways... "feel like so many opportunities are fleeting" I have a problem with this issue. I feel as though I'm not assertive enough in my actions because of the fear that I'm not fast enough to catch what it is I'm reaching out for. I understand that opportunities arise infinately and what comes into my scope is based upon what direction I'm looking. This same general feeling conflicts with me knowing other people. People move in and out of my life so fast. I fall in love with people and it hurts to watch them dissapear. I get that feeling of having lost a genuine opportunity because I didn't act out quickly and efficiently, which thus leads to anxiety and fear of relationships containing any type of emotional depth. But emotional depth is what I long for. I dream of someone who will stay, maybe not forever, but just a little while so that I may let down this guard and feel enough security to let myself go. My problem lays in my detachment from intuition, which leads to another passage I jotted-down: "thinking something is obvious, but is hidden; thinking something is hidden, but is obvious." My unperterbed, untouched intuition is capable of handling everything that comes to me. But I'm not accustomed to thinking clearly. Therefore, I make assumptions and later evaluate things based upon these assumptions. That is, until something comes up and smacks my punk-ass to the pavement. Then I remember to forget. I let everything go. "Hold on, that's what they say, but I say open up your hands and let it fly away, 'till the day comes back when it was meant to be, take a look at the lovely gift the world has sent to me."(aceyalone) "The Way to Fail Successfully" Today, I cleaned out a library, and saw a book with this title and thought it was fucking genius. We are taught to succeed, which we rarely do. We should be taught also to fail, which is likely to happen more than success. This seems like looking at the yin/yang and seeing one whole. "ROCK OF AGES! JESUS IS A ROCK!" Can you fucking believe that shit? That's a real song, with a real copyright! Someone sat there and wrote words and music and all that shit, and probably got all happy and horny off of it, feeling all proud that they came up with such a cleaver chorus. 'Jesus is a rock?' The fuck is that? Why would you compare Jesus to a lifeless piece of sediment? I UNDERSTAND that it's supposed to mean strength, but fuck, there are way-better methods of conveying power. And 'Rock of Ages? That's a bitch-ass title, undoubtably written by a bitch-ass human. However, my roomate Josh sings this song to me and it makes me die laughing. Okay...too much, too much words. I need to move and stay active and breathe and drink water and be friendly to everyone and be real to myself and stay calm and stay strong and stop going on and on and on.........

death by design 2003-01-31 15:31:12 ET wow alot of stuff i want to comment on here... >> I understand that opportunities arise infinately and what comes into my scope is based upon what direction I'm looking its true; its like you dont notice how many people have celica's until you start driving one.. i think its called neuro-linguistic programming or some horse shit like that. i think its more like a magnet, or a frequency you can tune into. your intuition, your subconscious, the 90% of your brain that does stuff we havent figured out yet.. fixates itself on your target when you really want something >>>I fall in love with people and it hurts to watch them dissapear. I get that feeling of having lost a genuine opportunity because I didn't act out quickly and efficiently oh my god. do i feel you on this one. in relationships the ones i get pissed about.. arent the ones that take up time.. or end badly.. they are the ones where i feel theres so much potential there the air is thick with it; we almost drown beneath the weight of it... and usually one or the other person runs away.. usually guys run from me.. because i dont know how to function on a bullshit shallow level.. i'm learning.. but im not there yet.. and most ppl arent ready for depth.. but i feel the future.. i feel each possibility branching out in front of me like a thousand nerve endings.. and when a possibility gets cut off.. (most recently my sig. other broke up with me and is moving to SLC, UT to be w/someone he met on sk.net) its not the betrayal that bothers me.. its the amputation of what could have been a future, what could have been dynamite if it hadnt gotten wet with tears, what could have taken over the world if it wanted but got cut short... i often liken it to this: killing a human = vile , but understandable if you know the conditions preceding it killing a child = vile. inexcusable. unspeakable. unforgivable. deserving of death. why? because a child carries the weight of potential. a child could still be anything. a child could save the world or destroy it and all that potentia bottled up is worth risking anything for, and on some deep, instinctual level, we know that. we get older. regrets pile up like unpaid parking tickets. the forks in the road grow more and more infrequent, the periods of driving on one road alone begin to take precedence. monotony kicks in. and i find myself always reminiscing aboug 'three years ago.' it wasnt my place in life. three years ago my place in life sucked just as bad, if not worse. it was all that fucking potential. i cry when i think about it enough. and this sorrow carries over to people. you mentioned 'the way to fail successfully' it kind of smacks of Eastern philosophy a bit. i love eastern philosophy. the only way to be happy.. a taoist saying says.. is to see the glass as already broken. the only way i can survive emotionally is if i carry this philosophy to people. the minute i have met you, you have already died. and so every word you say, every gesture you make, every quirk, every nuance. means so much more. grabs my attention. because its like what brandon lee said... how many more times will you hear your favorite song.. drink orange juice.. watch the sun rise.. it feels infinite.. but thats just potential fooling you.. the truth is that it is limited, finite. you just dont know the number. but it exists. in a way, being a morbid motherfucker has helped me appreciate life. i dont know what else to say but this... >>>I need to move and stay active and breathe and drink water and be friendly to everyone and be real to myself "overlive it, lower yet, be happy! wherefore should i care? i must mix myself with action, lest i wither with despair!!" -tennyson, 'locksley hall'

doktor242 2003-01-31 17:45:53 ET *reboots brain in order to wrap ideas around it* it's funny that the one who is most conscious of potential fears it most... sometimes you have to say damn the torpedoes, and just dive in. Get lost in it.

pseudo kiss 2003-01-31 17:48:39 ET ""thinking something is obvious, but is hidden; thinking something is hidden, but is obvious." My unperterbed, untouched intuition is capable of handling everything that comes to me. But I'm not accustomed to thinking clearly. Therefore, I make assumptions and later evaluate things based upon these assumptions. That is, until something comes up and smacks my punk-ass to the pavement. Then I remember to forget. I let everything go. " did we discuss the night before? for some reason-the reason im afraid to let myself go is i dont know if i can handle the falling and the fact that myself will probably never come back the same as it was before.

Furax 2003-02-01 01:25:17 ET half full? half empty? ...the glass is not the right size to hold what it contains.

downrail 2003-02-01 04:03:01 ET mmmm...here say...here say.. mixed with 1/2 oz. of misunderstanding.. and 1 quart of lies/mistrust/and assumptions! i am not 'being' with anyone. ok? ..id prefer my vague reference in this case(purely based on skepticism and assumptions..no matter HOW the situation may look...) to be left out.. i am not one to be involved in gossip or any mistunderstandings. i really do not need it right now...

death by design 2003-02-01 04:29:09 ET funny how in an entry people most often ignore the signal and pay attention to the noise...

doktor242 2003-02-01 08:19:25 ET rumors? allegations? rants? nope. nothing but ones and zeroes.

downrail 2003-02-01 08:24:06 ET "most recently my sig. other broke up with me and is moving to SLC, UT to be w/someone he met on sk.net" Digit is coming to visit me. NOT be with me. based assumption... i'd say so... there is far more misunderstanding wrapped up in this than needs be..

doktor242 2003-02-01 08:28:33 ET be. verb: 1: To exist in actuality; have life or reality 2:To occupy a specified position 3:To remain in a certain state or situation undisturbed, untouched, or unmolested with. preposition: 1: In the company of; accompanying 2: Next to; alongside of

downrail 2003-02-01 08:59:12 ET but it still had great potential to be taken in a more insinuating manner.(more misunderstanding for not clarifying things perhaps?) much better terms could have been: visiting, spending time with, working on music with, creating art with, going to see...? perhaps... but be with can mean a multitude of things(regardless of TEXT definition.. )and can be taken many different ways.. (see the beauty and manipultion of our language allows almost all humanbeings to not go directly by dictionary definitions of most words.. they connect words/phrases with particular events, and/or proper associations based on personal experiences/education/and general use of terminology) therefore what was previously expressed in the sentence: most recently my sig. other broke up with me and is moving to SLC, UT to be w/someone he met on sk.net was..in fact.. a falsification. not to mention, DIGIT is not moving to SLC. .. an earlier distinction of those terms would have been less misleading. so... in conclusion..thaaaanks for the clarification. : )

doktor242 2003-02-01 09:12:46 ET moving: adjective: 1: Changing or capable of changing position 2: Causing or producing motion. 3: Arousing or capable of arousing deep emotion ah, the english language. ambiguity rules.

downrail 2003-02-01 11:00:31 ET mmkay.. if what DBD was typing in the 'statement' in elementary type debate here was meant in a "capable of changing position, or arousing deep emotion." way her sentence(more accurately what was written in parathesis) would not be entirely valid(or make complete sense, also taking into account other words that were used in the same sentence.). meaning you have only ONE valid statement above, which isnt much. and further more does not disprove anything i had typed previously....meaning the falsification stands.(also, if you missed the part where i was clarifying the manipulations of language in general, and how human beings generally conceive and project language as a whole maybe you should re-read...) so.. alright... lets elaborate on the differences in dictionaries&or encyclopedias now shall we?!... ok... your dictionary presumably says the following: moving: adjective: 1: Changing or capable of changing position 2: Causing or producing motion. 3: Arousing or capable of arousing deep emotion here are some other definitions of the term moving(as well as move, and movement.. since they are obviously related(move being a root term im sure)/and therefore very similar in meaning..correct?)-- move: adjective 1:to change ones position, or cause to do this. 2:to change the position of. 3:make progess 4:to change one's place. 5:change to new premises 6:cause to be evacuated 7:change one's place of residence. -also 1:the act or an instance of moving 2:a change of house, business premises etc. 3:a step taken to secure an action or effect. movement: noun 1:the act or instance of being moved. 2:the moving parts of a mechanism. 3:a body or persons with a common object 4:a person's activities at a particular time. moving: adjective 1:that moves or causes to move. 2:affecting with emotion. -- so ok..lets break this down just alittle more.. the fact that the term moving was used in the particular placement of the sentence that it was..(which would be between the words is and to, which also may affect the meaning of the entire sentence in fact) .. ill just throw down some more definitions for you.. to further elaborate... is: 3rd sing.present of be be: verb sing. present of am are being 1:to exist, live 2a:occur, take place b:occupy a position in space 3:remain (so far it seems that the sentence appears to be presenting the idea that DIGIT would...in fact... be occupying residence in SLC, UT. .. or, remaining even, which is not the case.) to: before a vowel, prep. & adverb 1:expressing what is reached, approached 2:expressing what is aimed at 3:as far as, up to. 4:to the extent of and blah blah blah. i think i've made my point as far as the combination of wording in the actual sentence goes. but..why not just type some random definitions anyhow..?! ambiguity: noun 1a: a double meaning which is either deliberate or caused by inexactness of expression. 1b:an example of this. 2:an expression able to be interpreted in more than one way. (yes.more or less what i was explaining earlier.) language: noun 1:the method of human communication, either spoken or written, consisting of the use of words in an agreed way. 2:the language of a particular community 3a:a faculty of speech b:a faculty of expression, the use of words. manipulate: v.tr. 1:to handle or use skillfully 2:manage to ones own advantage. 3:to alter, edit or move(text, data, etc.) falsify: v.tr. 1:fraudulently alter or make false. 2:misrespresent. 3:making false. definition: noun 1a:the act or process of defining b:the statement of the meaning of the word or the nature of a thing 2a:a degree of distinctness in outline of an object or image. b:making or being distinct. and like i was saying somewhere up there when i started this reply there are many different kinds of dictionaries & encyclopedias.. the source for my definitions was:The Oxford Encyclopedic English Dictionary (just incase you were curious) and i know other dictionaries have slightly different definitions(as ive shown) because of printing/republishing, editions, etc. and i suppose if you'd like to also go into the entire english language... we could start analysing grammer, structures of sentences, the differences between past, present, and future tents etcetera etcetera ectfuckingcetra ..wouldnt that be worththewaste! i dont even know why i am bothering with this(perhaps because im stubborn?)..the circumstances/and or reasons in fact for DIGIT staying in SLC for awhile and visiting me, are really none of your business, let alone sk.net's. and so i guess.. in the end ..everyone will ultimately assume...and think what they will. i just dont want assumptions/misrepresentations/or misinformation being presented as truth(at least with my involvement) and like i said.. thanks for the clarification, it was needed.

downrail 2003-02-01 11:19:49 ET also, dont take this abrasiveness as.. me just being rude really. i have mad insomnia.. ive been up for days and days and i am insanely irritatible.. so yes. :explained typical overreactions:

Furax 2003-02-01 14:24:52 ET signal vs. noise ... depends on your definitions of those words... and what you're looking for. noise is often a mask for covert transmission. (o_O) </C.I.A.>

De Funkt 2003-02-01 19:50:51 ET Wow! What an intense post downrail! That's some mad-study-business right there. And with a pun being totally intended, I say "WORD UP!" I like "the minute i have met you, you have already died. and so every word you say, every gesture you make, every quirk, every nuance. means so much more. grabs my attention." I shall comment further in the near future. As for now, I must relax. Peace DBD, Doktor, Psuedo, Furry.

downrail 2003-02-01 20:39:37 ET ha..well i think i probably could have gone on further.. but i would have started a cycle of circular ramblings that would have thrown me off the subject(s) .. i guess i am just very protective of what is said about me by others lately(especially if it isnt fact.. or truth or possibly could be taken in a misleading way.. etc.) ..i have had to deal with a massive amount of "gossip" and complete misunderstandings and assumptions lately(not involving sk.net) and its driving me up the wall.. plus, i have been fucking irritable. ..

doktor242 2003-02-01 23:55:32 ET tempers do flare for menial reasons. and people get protective of themselves and the people they love and care for most.

bio 2003-02-02 17:27:58 ET Main Entry: 2farce Function: noun Etymology: Middle English farse, from Middle French farce, from (assumed) Vulgar Latin farsa, from Latin, feminine of farsus, past participle of farcire Date: 14th century 1 : a savory stuffing : FORCEMEAT 2 : a light dramatic composition marked by broadly satirical comedy and improbable plot 3 : the broad humor characteristic of farce or pretense 4 a : ridiculous or empty show b : MOCKERY <the enforcement of this law became a farce> Definition number one applies here.

DanPratt 2003-02-05 04:15:52 ET Wow...all this education for no money down, no interest.

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