2005-01-15 23:33:04 ET|
I could just keep the title and that would perfectly describe my mood of late. I have not updated in quite a time, for that I must muster some sort of apology:
Bart: "Oh, but all my apologies seem so forced."
Bart: "I'm sorry."
Marge: "That's better."
*Bart chuckling wickedly under his breath*
Ah, nothing like a witicism from the Simpsons to get the ball rolling the right way. So, yeah, my first issue comes from, drum roll please, my current employment status, I am still employed, but one would never know from how much I am working now, around 10 hours a week. Yep, you heard me, a whole whopping ten hours a week! You would think that since I have worked there for nearly a year and a half, at that god forsaken subkulture cesspool, that that would leave me in some sort of good standing among my peers. Wrong, of course, I have now come to realize that to them, I am merely another cog in the retail machine that is Hot Topic, they are no better and no worse than any other retail company, except for the fact that they are liberal with the dress code and the discount is significant but other than that, there is no real reason to even consider working there unless you are entering into a management position, that is the only time I could even recommend wanting to work there, I am that disillusioned with them currently.
I am now confronted with the inevitibility that I am going to be forced to get a full time job, something I never wanted to do, as I have aspirations to finally attend college and perhaps make something of myself after several years of idling. Getting a full time job is going to impact that, since I doubt I will have much free time in which to pursue school activities, what with saving up for a car and perhaps finally moving out. Yes, I am now currently debating not accompanying my parents to Missouri when they move this summer, I am still undecided but I am leaning towards not at this time, it may just be that I am so currently irritated with practically every aspect of my life as of now.
Plus, my lack of hours and the pathetic amount I currently make working in retail Hell is impacting my plans to go to Florida and visit my best friend at the end of Feburary which has been on my mind for the last few days, making me feel absolutely awful and terribly guilty, as it is either going to Florida and probably not paying for the cosplays or paying for the cosplays and not being able to go to Florida, plus there are two birthdays that are coming up at the end of the month, my best friend Luci's and my friend Johnathan's, interestingly enough, only two days apart, odd, that. Feh, the plane ticket alone is probably going to be around $250! *Hands on the side of my head* Argh, so many things that are going to require cash that I simply do not have, short of selling my body, I doubt I am going to be able to save up enough. Heh, and no smart ass comments about the selling my body line either, I know you naughty souls, give you an opening... Hopefully, my ebay auctions that I shall post early this next week will help me out with my situation, and some of my dear friends owe me money as well, which should also aide my current financial situation, at least slightly. Well, I am not going to be completely pessimistic as of yet, who knows, anything can happen in the space of a few weeks, and if anyone has any ideas, let me know, I am open for some sound advice. Once again, I apologize, this time for subjecting you to yet another tired rant, as if you do not get enough of those already! ~_^