2008-11-03 10:45:17 ET|
I am returning to Missouri for awhile, definitely for the remainder of the year, most likely longer. Many things have been pondered over to make this very difficult decision. Financially would have to be the key motivation right now, I haven't worked since August, I have had no luck finding a decent i.e. non-retail job, one that gives full time hours and will pay me enough money to live off of, they are just not out there, definitely not for someone with my skill level, I have no degrees, no experience in working office jobs so I am probably not high on their list of applicants. And beyond that, I am simply tired of working these crap jobs, I am better than this, I am wasting my intellect and my talents, I am not getting any younger, maybe it is finally time for me to grow up and take some responsibility for my life, I am the only one who can change anything. So I am going to look into begininning to further my education so I can have a real career hopefully by the time I am 30, I just can't do this anymore, my life is directionless and unfocused, having a goal will make me feel as though I'm accomplishing something.
California is just too...distracting I think, too much going on, too many people, too much to assault the senses, going to MO will certainly narrow my scope of experience but I need that right now, I can't have the distraction of possibilities, this probably sounds a bit silly but it is hard to express these kind of thoughts. I will be leaving after Bat's Day, D and I are going to be driving there, which should be an interesting little adventure, roadtrips always have their share of intrigue.
So, if anyone wants to hang out, this is the week, after that, no telling when I will be returning...actually, it will be sometime next year, definitely, hopefully with a solid footing going into a more optimistic future.
Thank you to everyone for showing me a hell of a time but mark my words, I will be back, count on it.