Earthquake Proofing Your State
2004-09-28 14:22:59 ET

I've heard there was an earthquake in California. I really hope everything is ok but... I just don't understand you guys. If you don't want earthquakes then you can stop them quite easily with this tried and true method of mine. You see, the rumblings occur deep down in the belly of the beast. They signify geological hunger. And what else should we feed to the very depths of the earth if not... virgins?

2004-09-28 14:31:30 ET

That's why we never get any up in Canada.

2004-09-28 15:20:12 ET

there should be some kind of government program that gives families an anual stipend for having sacrificed their virgin children for Earthquake Protection.

2004-09-28 15:47:54 ET

hahaha that's too much

2004-09-28 16:19:11 ET

first thing the gods and dorks throw into evil's belly is your brother.

2004-09-28 17:11:04 ET

"A strong earthquake shook the state Tuesday from Los Angeles to San Francisco, cracking pipes, breaking bottles of wine and knocking pictures from walls."

Oh no!

2004-09-28 17:35:41 ET

sounds more like a homeless person than an earthquake.

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