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2006-02-17 10:50:29 ET I just got done making Ashby's breakfast cookies for the next two weeks :P They are quite tasty, if I say so myself :P Oh, and Ashby likes them, too :] It's raining. This sucks because I wanted to get out of the house today. I don't know what happened to me in Georgia, but I apparently changed a lot. Waylon says that I found something that I was looking for there, but for the life of me, I don't know what it is, although I feel it, too. If I knew, perhaps I could find it here, as well? The liklihood of that is small, however, since I found whatever it was in a week's time there, but I've lived in CA all my life, and, apparently, haven't found quite the same thing. I find myself in a life-quandry since I got back. Not quite sure whether or not I want to continue on the path of hair...not quite sure I want to do makeup, etc. for movies, either. Just knowing that something doesn't feel right about either, anymore. This is frustrating because I've invested so much time and money into getting my license and building a clientelle, and this is the only thing I've ever seen all the way through, which gives me a tremendous sense of pride and accomplishment. I like to think I'm good at what I do, but my heart doesn't seem to be in it anymore. I just hope my boss doesn't notice this before I figure out what's going on. Oh, I wish Nes and I had remembered to go to her fortune teller. When I go back in April, I will hound her about it, lol. One observation I've made over the last few days is that I certainly enjoy doing my "private" clients more than working in the salon. Maybe I'm just not suited for a salon environment? It may also be that they pay me better, lol. It could also be that my boss asked me to return to haircutting class once a month, which, although I'm sure he didn't mean it that way, took a stab at my confidence level. Sure, education is good and everything, and I'd love to learn whatever he has to teach, but there was something he said in there that made me feel less than adequate. Again, I know he didn't mean it that way, but I feel differently about my job all the same. I don't know. It's always something, I guess. What else can I do, though? Half of me wants to pack up and move to Savannah...the other half is rooted here, where my parents are, a scattering of friends, and my boyfriend. Ok, cosmos...help me out here...What should I do? |
