2006-07-23 22:33:21 ET

Every so often I get this urge to go back to school...and every time I do, I fail miserably...but it makes me wonder if it's an inevitable cycle or just that a part of me knows I will end up there some day?

Well, the urge has returned and the pull is damn strong. I must admit that the thought of possibly going back to school is always at the back of my mind...the thought that maybe I could have become something better than a hairstylist...will I look back on my life in another 25 years and be satisfied with the choices I made? As I see it now, that answer will be "no".

I do know this: If I could have the chance to re-take the ISLS course I took in 1999-2000 I would jump on it like a whore during a red light special and ride that shit to the moon (Wow...that is decidedly the most Waylon/Bukowski-esque thing I've ever written). I wish I could go back in time and work harder so that I could look back on 6 years ago and say, "damn that was awesome in every possible way." But instead, I knew I would regret not doing better, but it didn't make me strive any harder, and I just plain didn't care at the time. Now that I'm a little wiser and can sit down for more than 10 min at a time, I feel like that opportunity was wasted on spotted and inconstant hands. Damn mine eyes!!!

Anyway, I want to see if it's possible to do a educational "do-over". See if I can wipe the slate clean and start all over again...possibly with that program. The trouble with doing ISLS over is that it's on suspension pending a full evaluation on it's efficacy and value to the school...which means it may not be there for another term. It's a total bummer.

Just for good measure...and just in case:

Dear God,
I know I've been a bad girl at times, if you really exist...please give me this opportunity and I'll do my best not to screw it up this time. Please?


I think, perhaps, that some midnight cheese may help my decision along...

2006-07-24 04:49:25 ET

i think God is a jerk but, i will pray for you as well

2006-07-24 08:09:09 ET

haha, I don't even believe in god. But whenever I feel like I need something I pretend to pray because it makes me feel like I'm doing something. May have something to do with my catholic upbringing.

2006-07-24 10:44:38 ET

you too huh?

2006-07-24 12:26:24 ET

LOL, me too ;)

As for the school thing, I totally feel your pain. I've been saying for how long that I'll "probably" have to go back because everyone wants the peice of paper. Well, the farther along I get, the the probably grows into a definately. On the plus side, I have a job now where I could do that. On the con side...god I hate school. Hate hate hate hate :P

Between the two of us, we're bounc to figure out something to make it work though :) We are both smart women! This shouldn't be an issue! Damn skippy!

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