2006-07-23 22:33:21 ET|
Every so often I get this urge to go back to school...and every time I do, I fail miserably...but it makes me wonder if it's an inevitable cycle or just that a part of me knows I will end up there some day?
Well, the urge has returned and the pull is damn strong. I must admit that the thought of possibly going back to school is always at the back of my mind...the thought that maybe I could have become something better than a hairstylist...will I look back on my life in another 25 years and be satisfied with the choices I made? As I see it now, that answer will be "no".
I do know this: If I could have the chance to re-take the ISLS course I took in 1999-2000 I would jump on it like a whore during a red light special and ride that shit to the moon (Wow...that is decidedly the most Waylon/Bukowski-esque thing I've ever written). I wish I could go back in time and work harder so that I could look back on 6 years ago and say, "damn that was awesome in every possible way." But instead, I knew I would regret not doing better, but it didn't make me strive any harder, and I just plain didn't care at the time. Now that I'm a little wiser and can sit down for more than 10 min at a time, I feel like that opportunity was wasted on spotted and inconstant hands. Damn mine eyes!!!
Anyway, I want to see if it's possible to do a educational "do-over". See if I can wipe the slate clean and start all over again...possibly with that program. The trouble with doing ISLS over is that it's on suspension pending a full evaluation on it's efficacy and value to the school...which means it may not be there for another term. It's a total bummer.
Just for good measure...and just in case:
I know I've been a bad girl at times, if you really exist...please give me this opportunity and I'll do my best not to screw it up this time. Please?
I think, perhaps, that some midnight cheese may help my decision along...