One of those moments when you realize you are surrounded by "THOSE" people
2013-02-06 05:43:39 ET

So the country is waiting to hear if the Boy Scouts of America will allow openly gay individuals to be a part of their organization. I started reading an article on that opened with a family whose two sons, ages 16 and 20, are both boy scouts (the 20 year old making it all the way to Eagle Scout) and are both gay.

I say out loud that it is interesting that both sons of this couple are scouts and are gay. My coworker who I share my office with jumped on it saying, "Well, maybe the father wasn't in the home" to which I answer, "No, the article implys that isn't the case"

"Well, maybe the younger one is saying he's gay to follow in the older brother's footsteps"


"Or he is trying to be cool"

"Wait... you are saying that someone would choose to be gay to follow in someone's footsteps or to be cool?"

"Maybe they were molested"

"Ok... thanks for your imput, coworker"

And then I started typing on here. The though process of some amazes me. Especially on something like this. That "being cool" or "molestation" or "no father figure" are the main reasons why people are gay. Personally, I believe that it isn't a choice and if my future child(ren) were to tell me that they were gay I would support them 100%. But here in the South that, apparently, isn't the normal thought process. There is so much I love about my home, but stuff like this really puts me on edge. Grrr...

It was good to read this article today, because it helped me focus on real problems that people face in their lives instead of my weak ones. For example, my future sister-in-law called me Monday to tell me that someone told her that I was talking shit about her family and I needed to stop. Excuse me? Why would I do something like that to the family that I am marrying into? Turns out what really pissed her off was me telling her that if she showed up late for my fiance's birthday plans then I couldn't give her a ride to the event or pay her way in because people would be waiting for me to get downtown with our tickets. Unbelievable. Screw it. Have your "my future sister-in-law is a bitch" party. I'll focus on the real issues out there.

2013-02-06 05:55:04 ET

The thing is, people are going to have their opinions despite any proof you may or may not have. Getting upset about it isnt worth it most of the time. Let me sit around & be ignorant & just move on. Fighting it usually just turns into a circular argument & it's energy wasted.

2013-02-06 06:02:43 ET

You are absolutely right. Ignorance just pisses me off.

2013-02-06 06:18:44 ET

*them, not me. Wow.

I agree with you but somet people you just cant have those kinds of discussions with because they refuse to see another perspective.

2013-02-06 07:08:56 ET

Do I need to cut a bitch? Your sis in law sounds like a prize.

2013-02-06 07:14:03 ET

She was acting on something that someone said they "heard" me say so kudos for sticking up for your family, but she's known me for 4 years now and apparently that didn't count for anything when she was told "what I said".

The icing on the cake is that this rumor came from someone who I got (and her boyfriend) a job.

2013-02-06 07:23:37 ET

Fuck em all!! Ugh. That pisses me off for you. In-laws, Woooooooooooot!!!

2013-02-06 07:43:42 ET

yuuup. But I am told to have a short memory when it comes to family.

2013-02-06 09:45:17 ET

There's no way to differentiate nature vs. nurture. In any case I feel that nature has a big part of it.

I also see her point on saying that he's saying it to be cool (though I don't agree with it in this particular instance). When my niece came out and said she was gay within months my nephew was saying he was bi. I guess most of the people in his middle school were saying they were bi, though most of them weren't or have since rescinded their statement. Sometimes social pressures can be strange and we see a role reversal of what's typically expected.

2013-02-06 09:48:58 ET

Middle school is pretty young to be proclaiming sexuality (in most cases), I feel.

2013-02-06 09:51:34 ET

I'm not really sure. I think it depends on how accepting an area is to different sexualities. Many of my gay friends around here mention they felt a certain way for another sex as early as 9 or 10 years old. I love talking to Sub's husband since he's from Florida and has had a /completely/ different culture growing up and offers amazing insight (best 2am conversations ever).

2013-02-06 09:53:18 ET

It's going to vary person to person but, in general, you're still figuring yourself out in middle school. Sometimes being bisexual is a phase. I speak from personal experience.

2013-02-06 13:51:00 ET

what do you mean you have a short memory when it comes to family? That sounds rather ... insulting, to say the least.

2013-02-06 14:04:58 ET

Are you ever done figuring yourself out? I think we explore and seek to understand ourselves for most of our lives. Sexuality /is/ a case by case basis, I was just trying to bring legitimacy to the comment "because it's cool".

2013-02-06 14:26:30 ET

I agree but, at some point in your adulthood, you're pretty sure of who you are whereas in middle school, you dont know too much about life.

2013-02-06 15:15:43 ET

Idk, I guess I see myself as constantly evolving from the events on life that shape me. For instance, Maria has had a dramatic change in my life and who I see myself as.

2013-02-06 16:02:14 ET

I've been told to have a short memory with family because things are going to be said and/or done that you may not like, but they are your family and they are in your life for the long haul so it's best to forgive and forget.

Some issues, like this one, I see that as possible. Others, I don't know.

As for the other subject, I think everyone has their own way and time in which they find themselves. I appreciate you exploring my coworkers comments, though. She is a nice person, but she is one of limited thought. Her husband makes the rules and she follows them with few or no questions.

2013-02-06 16:07:21 ET

That's unfortunate but, some people are simply followers.

2013-02-06 16:16:15 ET

Lead them to a cliff!

2013-02-06 16:30:36 ET

I guess I can see where having a short memory is probably the best course of action. I agree though, that I don't consider that to be some kind of blanket rule.

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