2004-11-27 20:41:48 ET|
I guess itís nothing new that Iím always updating this thing only at midnight, for it seems itís the moment Iím more calmed and have nothing else to do.
So, as I have been mention the past entries, all this past week Iíve been feeling like total crap, that is really decayed, on Friday even some schoolmates told I looked different, that I was being very quiet, in deed that day I felt not wanting to talk much... apathy at it best. Sometimes itís also because Iím aware Iím a really boring person, I never have topics to talk about with anyone... constantly changing thoughts for one moment to another, like:
ďIím not sure if I had to calculate alternate current or direct current, was it the same line voltage for a delta or for a star? Why is it said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, when some Buddhists believe the key for a long life is not taking breakfast? On depressed days I only eat twice a day, some others I eat too much. I wonder who or when does the Neapolitan Sixths chords started using, Iíve seen them used by Brahms and Chopin and from there on. Why am I always so alone, Iíve been the one who ends up considering interesting some people, but Iím either boring or freaky for the others. Maybe I wasnít supposed to use the same voltage formulas for the by-pass capacitor as for the amplifier extension. Theyíre showing up again reruns from the first series and I already missed one episode, damn, I wish the series didnít end like that, even I could write more plots. Iíve never drunk more than 6 beers and Iím not sure if I want to find out how drunk can I get. I keep having some problem to control the bow when performing forte at fast notes or stacatto. I wonder how would people miss me if I died, maybe they would care much, I guess Iím not special for anyone, Iím just part of something else anywhere, just a tiny futile piece, not very important. What would happen it that tree was hit by a lightening? Where are my gloves? Iím feeling sort of cold on my hands; my room is always the coldest one. I wish I could sleep one day peacefully without waking up concerning on having to something.Ē
Thatís about my random thoughts over and over, hence why Iím never have something to talk about with anyone, I know theyíd find boring, hence Iím quiet. Yeah, maybe I wouldnít do a big missing for anyone, I guess Iíll just keep breathing this oxygen for the moment.