2004-12-09 15:39:51 ET

Today there wasnít rehearsal. So I feel strange updating here at 7:40 pm (I normally update between midnight). So I really donít know what to say.
Yesterday I... mmh.. started feeling decayed again. Itís just that, uhm, well, I wish something were... I donít know, like I said on many entries before, I doesnít matter what I try I always end up feeling alone, in deed I donít think I have any real close friend I could talk seriously, or someone I could hug or... uhm, and such things. I think Iím got sick again, Damn, I need some Kleenex.

At least Iím out of school now. I guess Iíll finally have time to organize some stuff here, and most of all, Iíll have some time to draw again. Damn, itís been long since I donít actually take a blank sheet and a pen and draw something. The problem is I donít know where since now the desk is being occupied by the computer. Iíll see.

2004-12-11 15:47:32 ET

aaawww, you can always pm me and talk to me about something serious, you know that right? as for the hugging... well lo siento but i cant do anything about that. i can always do this though *hug* although all it really does is makes you smile a little. but hey a smile is worth a millione words. dibujas mi amigo.

2004-12-11 21:03:27 ET

thanks, I'll see if I still remember how to put a pen in my hand and do something.

2004-12-12 13:50:35 ET

im sure youll get your touch back, have you seen the picture i drew a few nights a go, i posted it with a poem and song, at the top of the picture it says "crystaltears still 15"

2004-12-14 21:56:12 ET

oh, yeh, I saw it. I'm not very familiar with nudes yet (only tried once).
I guess it's inevitable wanting to draw an emotion, such as coming from poetry. I'm not very good with words though. Anyway, it's nice what you did, a picture as another way of expresing the words.
What happened that day? June 15?

2004-12-15 14:24:33 ET

well that was two days before i turned 16, i was tring to restrain myself from going back to the guy that was laying on the other sofa, because i had left him for this other guy. i have these gifts to the point where, the boy near me-his thoughts were in my head and i was trying to sleep and so was he but neither of us could because his mind was racing, i couldnt sleep so i got out my little black book and wrote as i watched myself from the ceiling... i was also stoned at the time. well anyway basically i was trying to decide what to do, and who to go with. now im with someone completely different from either of the two guys and im glad that im not "still 15" anymore. :)

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