self pitty
2006-04-24 17:50:11 ET

I honestly do not know what's going on with me anymore...

I'm beyond depressed and it all seems to center around my self-esteem.

I know this sounds like pity so don't assume that I'm just trying to get sympathy...

but I feel horrible, I feel like I look like, like, like something that needs to be banished to a far away land never to be looked at again.

I think what bugs me the most is that I caught my boyfriend flirting with close to 20 girls on myspace.

But if I'm so gorgeous, like he says I am...why do I NEVER, EVER even get a lude comment?

Also...he was flirting with girls (this will sound shallow) that were less attractive than me...hard for me to think. And I STILL get no one hitting on me.


2006-04-24 17:53:17 ET

you kneed attension

2006-04-24 17:55:11 ET

it's not attention i need...i don't know what it is...

2006-04-24 18:48:50 ET

you need not to need. *although a man who was faithful would
be a start. feel damm-assed lucky your not in my situation.
i've got an X-g/f that just won't let the *F* up on me - I
try to be cool and let her know we are just friends! NOOOO
benifits *thank you* She's offered -- I'm not gen into that.
In fact she may even be reading this ... Booo ! I'm sure I'll
hear about it. Get a guy who appriciates you , not REALLY nice guy -too nice or you'll get bored , but not enough of a B-hole guy
that he's doing this. A decent guy somewhere in the middle.
Or : as first sugg. = Zen Mistress/Master Will says: concentrate
on not needing , at all--- and you'll start to see the things that matter most surface. WoW ! I think that's a record for me blabbering. I digress.....

2006-04-24 18:52:37 ET

I know...but when you've got absolutely no one giving you any positive reinforcememt (even if it's superficial) it really hurts!

I don't expect a lot of pitty...but I fucking hurt.

2006-04-24 19:01:28 ET

he prolly doesn't think you wANT A LUDE COMMENT

2006-04-24 19:02:01 ET

anything to make me feel like i'm not a sack of shit at this point.

do i just sound totally stpuid?

2006-04-24 19:10:42 ET

not at all
been wonderring if that was a problem with my love recently

and I'm totally in lust with anyone who plays Columbia

2006-04-25 01:08:00 ET

wait you have a myspace account?

you are hot. guys are sometimes afraid to tell hot chicks that they are indeed, hot. I dunno why but sometimes us guys ar0e like that.

2006-04-25 04:41:13 ET

But why should I never get told?

I mean, am I just that much of a superficial bitch?

2006-04-25 08:09:14 ET

I'll tell a replica

2006-04-25 09:26:22 ET

you know, i dunno why some girls arent told they are hot. I think it has to do with a man's tastes in women. for example, one guy might only be into chicks with big booties, while another thinks big boobs are the way to go. i dunno if you are that superficial, and i can't speak for the other guys but i can say that think you're hot.

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