2003-05-24 23:46:31 ET

its unfortunate to think about, but i will most likely never succeed in my goal of becoming legally insane...besides the LSD technicallity...

i, being an insomniac with internet access, talk to a lot of people on IMs and recently i have had this disturbing trend of running into people from very large scene's (portland, seattle, chicago, new york) who keep for some reason ditching my attempts at deeper conversations, usually they tell me that they talk about that stuff too much....weird...is it just indianapolis that is lacking on interesting and intelligent people...that kind of makes me feel like an emmissary here really...i feel like i'm here to help out all the kids coming up in the subkultures, and to ofcourse freak out the pinks....i don't know if i would actually want to be in a big scene city, i kind of enjoy the fact that the scene's are small enough that there is a lot of intermingling between all of the sub genre's.... i don't think i could live any other way....

be a fish in a lake of fish or be a fish in an aquarium i guess....

2003-05-25 00:06:04 ET

i live on the ocean floor

2003-05-25 00:08:23 ET

whats it like down there

2003-05-25 00:16:53 ET

dark... and stuff (o_O)

2003-05-25 00:17:45 ET


2003-05-25 10:03:06 ET

Hmmm I myself have been online for 6 yrs and yet I cannot find anyone who is really interested in getting in more pragmatic conversation. Even here on SK i have only a select few that go beyond the normal converstaion. I think ppl in bigger cities lack personal conversation. They have more here and now activities and are ready for less chat and more lets get to the point of this. I like details long conversation and I want to know things ppl normally would share with others until a long self served relationship. Look at me already filling up on this post.Basically I like convo with depth or meaning. So I suppose being in the small aquarium. Gives ppl like us who starve for mental stimulation a chance to be discovered. *smiles*

2003-05-25 11:41:03 ET

i can understand that, it mirrors my point, though i was a bit more egotistical in expressing it...i basically feel the same way, my entire online existance has been searching for interesting people i can talk to when all the interesting people locally around me are sleeping or absent, being an insomniac i have a lot of exprience out looking...and like you said, its very rare...

it might be the internet itself, its rudimentry knowledge that the internet acts like a social grease, removing certain personal blocks and replacing them with anonimity...but most people just never get over the intial phase of creating a persona or avatar of themselves to show the net.world, its easy to get caught up in the use of the internet as a way of creating that entity and then to never move past that intial defense mechanism, but i think the real value of global communication is somewhere beyond just a mimicry of physical reality, if only i could find more people who have moved past that...not that i doubt that there out there, law of averages tells me their there somewhere

2003-05-26 11:13:17 ET

So interesting. I think the internet allows you to be who you can't be in the so call real world. I myself have to admit Peter when I first got online my thing was to come across as something I wasn't IRL. I wanted to be some sexy bomb shell that everyone wanted to be around and have something to do with. But the more I think about it what you search for online when it comes to companionship is basically what you lack in your own life. Or well atleast it is for me. I think what I am looking for when it comes to the internet is a person who can make me laughs a person who wants to listen to whatever I feel like saying. Someone who is like me but not like me so I can argue *laughs* Thing is though I dont know if your single or not. When I go into a chatroom no girls will talk to me and what guys do chat stop after they find out I am married. What is up with that? If they do see a picture I am classified automatically in to a certain group. Are married ppl no fun or am I just hitting into all the cyber sex rooms *laughs* I dunno I can drag this out on and on but I want. Thanks for listening, reading what not. I can be a bore I know *flips her hair*

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