...deep in the shit that not many have been in....
2002-10-29 14:24:28 ET

....have tonight and tomorrow to find easy fast protection agianst evil... I've had a bit of luck, but its not the protection I need... I need to regain the rest of my energy back tonight...
I couldn't sleep, I wouldn't let myself, and niether would my dog..Stayed awake. All night had sickness in my tummy and felt weak...had a fever...
I could feel IT all around my house, too bad my house is sancutaory, .. I stayed up listening to it taunting me because it knows I can do nothing .... though I have not made eye contact it still wants me...
Its presence was strong at my window... it was trying to find ways to get to me... but couldn't..
I still am not feeling safe here, even if it is sancutory. If this is a familiar, I could let it in without knowing...
I fell asleep after 5am, when I felt its presence leave. It was gone... I was feeling good, no more sickness in the tummy....
Woke up at 6am...
Its 7:16pm right now.... I have a feeling its going to be here again... can't sleep
Sleeping lets your gaurd down and you are open for any type of attack..
Since I have a feeling its strong, I can't do anything to keep it away...
I just have to wait it out....
Not only have Krystal and I put ourselves in danger.. but we put Brian..and we put Clay and AJ in danger by letting them know exactly what it is...
So now I am still looking for something to protect atleast Clay and AJ... there isn't really much that could protect Krystal and I..Brian knows how to protect himself..
I do not know of anyone who at one time dealt in both Dark arts and white craft...that is the only type to help us..the only one we ever knew.. has passed away long ago..
Blessed Be!

2002-10-29 15:18:15 ET

1. never acknowledge it exists. it feeds on fear.
2. occupy your time with minor things, like needlepoint or counted cross-stitch.
3. burn a white candle (vanilla is nice) for 7 days in the center of the room.
4. place rosemary, salt, and sage on windowsills, doorways, and corners of the 'sanctuary' (small pinch is fine)
5. place small bowl of rice and small glass of water in closet, or under bed, a hidden place, before sleeping.
6. realize that some things know no good or evil, they only know hunger. white-black has no meaning, only feed, fight, etc.
7. remember that 'yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i shall fear no evil for i am the meanest motherfucker in the valley.' or whatever 'power' statement you can remember/believe.
8. day of the dead is coming up. pm me if you need help. or if you want a 'bottle'...

i am not a wiccan. i am not anything except.. umm.. 'paganotic' pagan/agnostic... anyway... things are only as powerful as the power you give.

2002-10-29 16:59:15 ET

this is over my head but i can't help but hunger for more information,.. good luck my darlin'!

2002-11-01 11:01:21 ET

Thank you. Yea, It was quite a night last night. I try to fight it.. I still get sick when its near, but its only phsyically or spritiually attacked me once, mother fucking peice of shit, I learned not to let my gaurd down. Damn thing was waiting I tell ya, because I only let my gaurd down for not even 2 minutes and Boom. It doesn't really bother me, it just pisses me off now. I think the reason I'm getting pissed is because its going after the people I care deeply for.
With the wiccan things, alot of that comes naturally. Has since I was little. Always seen things, could feel them, knew how to protect myself agianst the unseen/unknownen or least knowen things, I don't know how, but I always have.
Sometimes I think I'm weak...but for somereason I think I'm alot stronger then I think.... I dunno..
But thanx Gryfin... If I need somemore help, I will pm you. But I think last night it was taken care of, or atleast scared off for awhile, but it'll be back, they always come back. So we are going to see how tonight goes...then I'll let ya know from there..but thanx agian.

2002-11-01 11:05:07 ET

let's say, they don't bother me, sometimes i miss that.... it was fun and a growing/learning experience. i have had other's tell me, that i scare 'them' now more than 'they' scare us... hehehe.. i am the monster that lives in the spirit's tomb...hehehe..
~daughter of lillith.

2002-11-01 11:09:13 ET

hehe...Thats cool. yea. I'm learning alot because last year I decided I will go with the flow of things...use what I got and what I was born with, know what its about now, before it comes to a point when I could never know what I got in me.

2002-11-18 06:42:58 ET

Hmmm. I missed this whole fiasco. I really gotta start reading your journal on a regular basis again. :\

I know a lot of "dark" priests and prietesses if you still need help. I met ZeN through the MSN Satanic community! LOL! Although there were actually very few "real" Satanists and even fewer who took the dark arts seriously. Its not something to fuck with or take lightly.

2002-11-18 16:09:10 ET

Oh, I know. I will tell you if I need any help. "it" doesn't scare me anymore, its just been pissing me off. It doesn't attack much and I don't fight it. when I stop fighting it attacks 3 times worse, so I just don't fight it. Its ok. I learned that curiousity did kill the cat or atleast got it into deep shit. and I learned that sometimes, ignorance can be bliss.

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