Dialing for God
2004-01-29 14:40:12 ET

I just had a telephone evangelist call. Fuck me!
I TRIED to be nice. She wouldn't get off the phone, kept asking questions..ARGH.

She said, "it has been prophesied that these are the last days and a solution will be coming."
Uh-oh. Nutcase on line one!
She also said she would be calling back. UGH.

2004-01-29 14:41:34 ET

tell her to fuck off and that you're tracking and recording her harassing phone calls

2004-01-29 14:42:24 ET

Tell her about the Dark Lord Satan.

2004-01-29 14:42:29 ET

Next time go....."Wait, other line....I think it may be God. *pause* You there? Yeah, it's God...and he said stop harassing him"

2004-01-29 14:44:23 ET

!!! tell her the real christians are pissed at her !!!

*goes back to praising god and NOT forcing it on others*

2004-01-29 14:45:55 ET

hey, you go to york, cool. my boyfriend goes there, and i'm visiting right now. currently i am stuck in his room while he's at class. fun times. haha

2004-01-29 15:11:42 ET

A few short words, "I'm a homosexual, drug addict and a Scientologist" -- that should get her off the phone.

2004-01-29 15:34:11 ET

Nah - then she'll just go out of her way to "help" me.

Next time I play "Kiss the Goat" by Electric Hellfire Club and go do something more interesting for a few minutes.

2004-01-29 22:42:02 ET

Tell her you are intrigued by the way she conveys her beliefs and the voice she sings in. Then start making monkey beating noises. Ask her for her address and tell her you'll be appearing personally. She may be excited enough to give you fast answers (extreme positive or negative).

2004-02-03 06:17:25 ET

I'd rather have that than a campaign call from Joe Lieberman.

2004-02-08 09:03:38 ET

Tell her you are sorry she has misinterperted the bible so badly and you ll pray that god will forgive her for her mistakes... I told that to a preacher once they dont like that at all...

2004-02-08 09:18:54 ET

April, that must be the most insightful idea to give to the preachers.

2004-02-08 09:29:24 ET

I love how they forget that in the bible it says all sins are equall and equally forgivible and thaat we should forgive everyone no matter what their sins are...

2004-02-08 09:35:22 ET

you read too much into it.

2004-02-08 09:40:14 ET

had too for college

2004-02-18 14:30:25 ET

hehehe.. i feel so neglected. none of the door to door religious wackos come to my house or call anymore. none. then they turned around and changed the 'personal' numbers they had given me to call from the last/only visit so that i couldn't call anymore at 3am with a question about if eating doritos was blasphmy, is it murder to eat vegetables, etc. and talk for hours and hours about everything..... they just gave up on saving me i guess. then again, when they told me 'jesus said to do this' my response was 'well when he comes here and tells me that in person, then i'll get right on it' wasn't what they were used to either.
i miss them.

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