2013-08-18 07:13:38 ET

I have an acquaintance that is going to have a baby. She uses drugs--mostly meth. This is not her first meth baby--the first one went for adoption. I feel helpless--the only person more helpless is that poor baby in her who is exposed to this awful drug. I do not know what to do. Yes I do. I can do nothing. I have tried to talk to her, and she yells and curses at me. She blames everyone but herself. Why am I worrying so much about this baby when the person who should be in pain from this situation, namely her, has no pain at all? God I hate this.

2013-08-18 07:20:49 ET

police? rehab? maybe social services.... hopefully the baby comes out ok

2013-08-18 08:33:35 ET

Are you the only person involved in this person's life that is concerned? I mean, damn. If someone insists on having a baby, there's basically nothing you can do. My boyfriend's 18 year old sister is pregnant and in COMPLETE denial. They live a few states away and we visited for a week. She was huge (estimation would be 7 months), hadn't had her period for seven months, is lying to her family about having her period and every preg test she takes comes back positive.... so yeah. Ya know? But all the while, she's grasping at her gut, saying "This is not a pregnant belly, it's just some extra weight I've put on from eating since I've been depressed, I have no symptoms" and no one but me knows (Josh, my boyfriend, knows but she doesn't know he knows and he wants to be completely removed from that sticky situation, so yeah, he's not gonna say anything). The trip was lovely and we decided we want to move there ASAP but this situation really sucks because she is definitely pregnant, I point-blank told her and she started sobbing and saying she wasn't when ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE. So IDK what to do. Being the only person to know is a tremendous burden because now it's too late for an abo and she's got no insurance, never went to a doctor and now... this. Her parents (divorced and messed up themselves but still close) suspect but they're all just hoping that's not the case and instead of confronting her, they just tip-toe around it and hope for the best. It's completely fucked up and my only hope is that when the baby comes, she does the right thing and gives it up for adoption but she's not taking care of herself (smokes cigarettes, pot and drinks on occasion) and I kind of fear for the baby's well-being too. Just honestly sucks, we're not very close and they live 16 hours away so there's not a whole lot we can do. If we were to move there, they'd probably want to live with us (they're housing situation is ... well, her and her dad share a two-room apartment that's got the toilet, sink and shower in the bedroom, no separate bathroom, even) and dude, sorry. I made it a point to not get pregnant in my 25 years of life specifically because I can't handle a baby, so I don't want to have to handle someone else's baby....

Man. Felt good and awful to get that out there. Best of luck to your person and my person, I guess. It's all you can really say in a scenario like this.

2013-08-18 18:40:45 ET

many states let you leave a baby in a safe place no questions asked. she can go to a hospital emergency room in labor, have the baby and leave it there. I'd hope she would do that at the least vs accidentally killing it.

2013-08-19 17:11:12 ET

Thanks for your thoughts. Fever, do not let them live with you. You would never get rid of them, and they would take you down with them. That is what worries me here. This girl has so much dysfunction, and so much energy with meth that she could pull me down so fast. I can't get too close, or I will get pulled in and not get out. Someone said that if a baby is born with meth in its system, Social services are automatically involved, so someone with some authority may be able to help that baby. I feel for you.

Seriously, thanks everyone for your comments.

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