many uses of bread
2003-12-04 18:28:55 ET

have decided to create a secret society. We will be known as the Mystic Order Of Bread. This society will not be started to control forces of power but merely to diminish the rapid growth of stupidity. As a Member of MOOB One would be commissioned to observe those around and when ever stupidity was noticed, the offender would be hit over the head with the loaf of bread. I feel that in extreme cases one may use a box of cheerios. Why, you may ask, would I use such a silly method to combat a disease that rapidly spreading; causing pain and irritation to people all over the world. I understand your confusion. My reasons are:
No one would expect it. If you suddenly got hit in the head with a simple carbohydrate you would be forced to stop and ponder why this has happened. We canít kill the stupid people. All of us have been guilty of moments of stupidity and a nice friendly reminder of bread across the back of the head would have done good to snap us back into reality. The box of Cheerios would hurt slightly and should be used in only extreme cases. I donít want to condition people to finding stupidity painful. They will only, like Pavlovís dogs, respond accordingly to keep themselves form harm. But with the bread method, people will have to start thinking.

2003-12-04 18:31:32 ET

but eventually people would start to change their actions only when they see someone carrying a loaf of bread.

2003-12-04 18:39:20 ET

Well We would have to work out some way to hide the bread until it was used. Backpacks, large purses. Remember it's a secret society.

2003-12-04 18:40:25 ET

could be tough in a work setting.

2003-12-04 18:43:20 ET

No. I carry my sachel to work, I wear an apron. There are ways, besides the bread will only get smaller as it has a tendecy to become squished when you hit people with it.

2003-12-04 18:45:20 ET

i'll see what i can do. where can i get bread for dirt cheap?

2003-12-04 18:45:59 ET

We should apply for government grants.

2003-12-04 18:48:05 ET

they wouldn't support that for fear of the whiplash they'd get from said breadbashings.

2003-12-04 18:51:30 ET

We just have to write out grant praising the use of bread as a cure for stupidity. We will just fail to mention how we cure stupidity with bread.

2003-12-04 18:53:44 ET

good call.

2003-12-04 19:15:13 ET

Kelly thatís what I love about you. Instead of bitching about a stupid person you develop a clever solution to the global problem.

2003-12-04 19:15:58 ET

I want to make my world a better place.. not just be anoyed at it

2003-12-10 23:38:54 ET


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