Getting started with the forces of darkness.
2004-01-05 22:00:02 ET

I was just given a most wonderful book. It is called HOW TO BE A VILLIAN.
In the chapter on choosing your henchmen it offers this advice about the undead
:What the undead lack in speed and agility, they more than make up for in persistance and can-do attitude.

I have been giggling for an hour as I have thumbed through this happy gift.

2004-01-05 22:02:06 ET

dude! i remember seeing that! ...but i didn't buy it at the time because i didn't have money. who's the author?

2004-01-05 22:02:41 ET

Neil Zawacki

2004-01-05 22:04:36 ET

thanks. and, yes, i remember getting a good chuckle from a lot of that book :-)
the evil lair part ..or whatever it was... was pretty good too

2004-01-05 22:15:23 ET

Yes and I would choose the underground secret headquarters of doom...

2004-01-05 22:16:50 ET

excellent *taps fingers*

2004-01-05 22:20:49 ET

have you ever read " a series of unfortunate events" ?

2004-01-05 22:39:12 ET

Where does one get their undead, I wonder? Is there a werehouse where one may purchase their legion of darkness wholesale?

2004-01-05 22:41:03 ET

through simple voodoo rituals and access to a town graveyard...

2004-01-05 22:43:18 ET

Hm. That would certainly cut down on costs, however you'll have to clean them once you get home...

2004-01-05 22:52:40 ET

you don't clean the undead. They fall apart too easily.

2004-01-05 22:55:31 ET

I must say, the undead ARE the most delightfully convenient henchmen!

2004-01-05 23:08:13 ET

How to be a Villain sounds like a good book. I hate all those good guy books--a bunch of bloody wankers, all of them.

2004-01-05 23:11:36 ET

the book warns you about thoes.

2004-01-05 23:15:42 ET

that's the sign of a good book. that and pictures.

2004-01-05 23:18:23 ET

it's got pictures

2004-01-05 23:19:32 ET

now that's a good find.

2004-01-05 23:19:38 ET

that's next on my list. Combined with Sun Tsu's Art of War, Machiavelli's The Prince, and my discount card at Henchmen Wholesale, I shall conquer ze world

2004-01-05 23:21:26 ET

Yes. it brought happiness to a day that began with a headache

2004-01-05 23:22:39 ET

That's what caffiene is for.

2004-01-05 23:22:47 ET

guidos sold in quanitity? droogs for ye conquest by the dozen. but what about pirates?

2004-01-05 23:23:32 ET

Pirates are half off if you buy by the crew.

2004-01-05 23:23:35 ET

2004-01-05 23:24:55 ET

but make sure you get the cast of the Godfather (aka, the guido factor)

2004-01-05 23:25:35 ET

I tried caffine. nap and humor were my friends today. that and A boss you said.. you look terrible go home

2004-01-05 23:26:19 ET

gettin sent home from work does wonders for ones day.

2004-01-05 23:27:25 ET

I wonder if pirates, undead, and the cast of the godfather would get along well?

2004-01-05 23:28:03 ET

pay them enough, and they'll do anything.

2004-01-05 23:29:28 ET

well I will save costs on the lair. underground saves a bit on electricity.

2004-01-05 23:29:53 ET

or just raise an army of Sicilian Zombie Bucaneers

2004-01-05 23:30:11 ET

be extra evil and finance the whole operation with a pirate porn ring.

2004-01-05 23:31:21 ET

hehe, Pirate Booty Girls vol. 17

2004-01-05 23:31:48 ET

*scrunches eyebrows in concideration*

2004-01-05 23:32:17 ET

yeah. and pirate snuff films too. that's even more evil.


2004-01-05 23:33:38 ET

*stroke chin and chuckles in consideration like a real villain*

2004-01-05 23:34:13 ET

the terror (a villian in the tick universe) once explained that to be really evil you just walk up to someong and smack em in the head.

2004-01-05 23:35:19 ET

and to save money, we'll make the pirates captives perform in the films.

this is a potential fortune! woo-hoo!

2004-01-05 23:36:52 ET

a fortune? I don't want money. I want world domination!

2004-01-05 23:36:52 ET

touche Xai

2004-01-05 23:38:02 ET

fortune= power, weapons, armies, etc.

now let's get moving with those crack sales, yes?

2004-01-05 23:39:33 ET

Porn ring.. or Doomsday device? both might get me the world.. But the latter sounds less messy

2004-01-05 23:40:54 ET

unless your doomsday device involves distracting the world with pr0n broadcasts.

2004-01-05 23:42:07 ET

yes, pirate porn may be distracting. you have a point.

2004-01-05 23:51:44 ET

i love that book

2004-01-06 03:30:36 ET

"a series of unfortunate events"? nope, never heard of it; why?

2004-01-06 16:53:06 ET

Furax: Because they are another set of books that I found amusing. much like how to be a villian.

2004-01-06 17:27:22 ET

ah ok :-)

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