got a lap top!
2008-07-11 05:35:51 ET

So Now I have internet again.

Time is not my own. If I am not working at the tea shop, I am working for the church. I have no friends. Because of our commute and I the one car situation, Gas being too much money to make to many trips down townand back. So I spend much of my life waiting in some public place for work to start or my husband to be off, or what ever... waiting.
This is not to be a whiney post. I am just kinda laying out the situation in which I find myself.

Due to the above.. I only hang out with my husband. He is making friends with some of his coworkers and due to the fact I work late a couple nights a week.. He goes out with them and has a good time. I don't grudge that at all. I am sooo happy that he is finding people he can talk to, do things with. We've been in TN for almost two years now, it's about time.

I am finding that I am jealous of the DOING THINGS aspect. We spend too much time together so when he and I are not commuting, we are in the house or the apartment and doing nothing. And I feel ignored. I realize that it's not easy for him to be my only friend. No one wants that sort of responsibility. But how Do I fix the .. "We Spend too much time together?" I want him to enjoy doing things with me again. I want friends.. but with our schedule and demand on time, I cannot get the car to go places with people and I won't ask someone to come get me. I live too far out of the city.
So I have this sticky situation, I can't really talk about with my coworkers.. I'm afraid they'd feel obligated to tote me around.

It may be another two or three months until we can get the second car. If Nashville had a public transit system, my problem would be solved.. But the few buses that exists don't really get me where I need to be. meh

maybe patience is the answer.

Yea so It takes me forever to write a journal entry and when I do it's a lot of whiney poor me crap. sorry.

2008-07-11 06:35:57 ET

Don't feel like you're being whiney. We all need some girls nights out every now and then. And I know how you feel to some extent... I finished school, my fiancee had been working a 3 hours drive away since last Decemeber, so I'm living with him during the summer now. I don't know or trust anyone here. It's not the same in that I have my own car now and there a lot of places close by, but not nearly so much fun alone. We just bought a house and it will be a 45-50 minute drive for him to get to work and me to get to school. My brother and his wife are in Indianapolis, a 2 hour drive away, and we'll have friends of mine who are a couple around where I go to school.. but yeah, that's it. I've been worried about it... how do you meet new nice people in the adult world? At school you talk to people in class or walk down the hallway of your dorm and pop your head into the rooms where the doors are open and say hi.
What's around you there? Are there cooking or art classes or anything where you might be able to meet people who live a lot closer to you (even if this is when you get a second car in a few months)?

2008-07-12 22:34:38 ET

hmm...if i were in said position i'd probably stop and seriously ask myself if this was really what i wanted to be doing with my life but that's also me and not you...

but honestly, patience can be good...just be sure you know what you're waiting for, i guess. forward momentum is good but not if it's simply leading to cyclically compounding problems either. but eh maybe i'm just cynical. heh

2008-07-14 03:15:21 ET

Analytical: Yes a girls night out is very much needed! making friends in the adult world requires more effort. I have made friends with coworkers but I only see them when I am at work. The people in my church are all older than me or they have kids and so I am deemed unworthy of talking to since I have none. Oh well.
I don't have enough time at the moment to take a class. Too much time spent on the road. The 50 minute drive is what we do now. It's not easy on some days. But Congrats on the house.

Turbo: I've been doing alot of thinking on that subject. The answer I have come up with is: No, this isn't really what I want to be doing with my life. But My Husband really likes his Job. He really likes living near his family. I moved out here for him. So somehow I need to find something for me out here.

2008-07-14 11:34:43 ET is ever complicated and never what we expect it to be...good luck on wherever it's taking you...i'm sure you'll find where you really want to be going.

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