public forum discussing the various uses of vaseline.
2003-01-06 19:19:55 ET

2003-01-06 19:24:36 ET

great for chapped lips? (o_O)

2003-01-06 19:28:46 ET

for getting out of/into tight situations?

for windowpainting?

for scaring the neighbors?

2003-01-06 19:29:56 ET


2003-01-06 19:42:45 ET

male masturbation.

2003-01-06 19:43:18 ET

For putting along your hairline so the manic panic doesn't turn your neck and face red.

2003-01-06 19:43:46 ET

makeup removal

2003-01-06 19:46:19 ET

For sliming on windshield wipers as a practical joke?

2003-01-06 19:48:41 ET

smearing the floor with, to hurt people.
this works way better with astroglide, but what doesn't?

2003-01-06 19:50:38 ET

rubbing it between your asscheeks as to avoid the creation of a fungus colony due to excessive friction and bleeding:

2003-01-06 19:55:24 ET

yes! i forgot all about that.
- a fat free substitute for peanut butter.

2003-01-06 19:57:11 ET

when you need a peanut butter substitute it's time to shoot yourself in the face:

2003-01-06 19:57:33 ET which you might also want to apply vaseline

2003-01-06 19:59:31 ET

saran wrap and vaseline: no more hole!

2003-01-06 20:02:42 ET

can you be preserved in petroleum jelly?

2003-01-06 20:04:11 ET

one way to find out -

2003-01-06 20:04:43 ET

you'd possibly have to be dead first: i'd rather be stuffed: like a bear:

2003-01-06 20:06:14 ET

and offered to a small child to sleep with.

2003-01-06 20:08:45 ET

you can be stuffed with vaseline! and then you would squish and get lumpy and i step on your stomach and petroleum jelly gets squeezed out of your nose and eyes! weee!

2003-01-06 20:16:14 ET

human stretch armstrong?

2003-01-06 20:16:35 ET


2003-01-06 20:28:37 ET

Anal Fisting.
Although Crisco is better.
It also makes for a lovely hair wax...
Or zen sculpture.


2003-01-06 20:30:50 ET

use it to lube up bio and send him into a pantera mosh pit </evil_genious>

2003-01-06 20:32:14 ET

You are suddenly my hero.

But I suggest Wintermute as a victim.


2003-01-06 20:43:52 ET

dillinger <3
whoever it is should be heavily dusted beforehand.

2003-01-06 20:48:49 ET

Hell yes.
*inhales the lingering smell of smouldering bone meal withOUT relish*

2003-01-06 20:58:46 ET

i smear vaseline in my teeth to win miss america contests.

2003-01-06 21:02:15 ET

oh, and if you're like me, you own a madagascar hissing cockroach colony. while the adults generally stay on the ground, the babies like to climb the glass, resulting in possible escapes. this can be remedied by applying a ring of vaseline about 1 1/2" wide around the very top of the walls.
ps, i can't keep mine any more, anyone want them?

2003-01-10 08:17:36 ET

manly yes, but i like it too!

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