2003-02-13 06:55:10 ET|
last night, after waiting for the elevator down, the doors opened. inside was a girl i'd never seen before. i grinned at her as i entered, a sort of acknowledgement and acceptance of her presence, i guess. she grinned back, all within two fifths of a second, and i went back to staring at the floor as usual. but then she asked "how's it going?"
Not used to anything more than the grin (i'm happy if i get that), I replied something like:
"it is so cold out. i just got back from the grocery store. on my way back, i was carrying plastic bags, so my hands were exposed. and my thumbs got badly frostbitten. normally i avoid talking about the weather, but my thumbs really hurt and it's all i can think about right now."
she nodded, the doors opened, and we left. i walked out straight ahead, while she cut a quick right, and that was that. i know she was just expecting me to say something like "not bad". But there were still so many more things i wanted to tell her, like how i was in the cafeteria that morning, waiting next to a boy while our bagels were toasting, and he turned and asked "did you just feel that?"
But then again i don't consider myself very perceptive with things like that. it could be an airplane overhead, we are in the flight path of logan airport." i said.
"i don't know, i guess i'm a little edgey this morning."
and after that i had to watch apocalypse now in my visual language class, the redux version. granted, it was better than listening to my whiny professor for 4 hours, but that movie doesn't have any effect on me any more. and the redux just drags on and on. during the movie she was pulling students aside to talk to them about the subjects of our art project she had assigned. i have to do an abstract interpretation of jospeh conrad's heart of darkness (hence apocalypse now). she wasn't satisfied with my idea, because i planned on abstaining from any comentary in the piece. so i lied and said i would do so with the finished product , even though i won't. i left the class groggy and disoriented and remained that way in art history when we discussed in depth the mystique surrounding leonardo's works, and cycled through much of his lifes works on two huge projectors, and the lights were dimmed, and sfumato was leaking off the wall and filling the room, and behind me, in the back, i could hear mice and chimerae coming out of vents and ducts to play, and the room and everyone in it began to resemble the subjects that were flashing on the wall and christ it was weird. and the whole day was like that until i got into the elevator with the girl, and her question was just an instant solidification of reality. in that second my eyes came into sharp focus, and there was a tingle that started in my forehead and made its way to the base of the neck. it felt like vinegar and baking soda, and any cloud my mind was playing in instantly evaporated, leaving me to dwell on the firey feeling in my thumbs.
so anyway, even though i know she didn't want to hear about all that, i was still overjoyed when she asked me.