shiver and shake.

2003-10-26 22:40:30 ET i can only hope that with everything that is going on in the world that god lends a hand to those in need here in california. especially a great friend of mine. these fires have got me really depressed. i can't imagine losing everything you own. i keep wondering if the hills by my house are going to catch. only because we have had fires here before. onto happy things. brian picked me up on friday and we cruised over to dana's house to join he and kim in some movie watching. the movie for the night was 28 days. which i hadn't seen. It was a good film and i certainly enjoyed it. watched all of the alternate endings, i would have prefered a bleaker ending. only because i despise hollywood endings. saturday was spent milling around. i have this gift certificate to target. and i haven't seen anything i want. except for this suit. which i may pick up. not sure about that yet. we ended up going to a going away party for jason and ruby. which was also a halloween party. the parties consist of a drink of the night which was the lucky burglar. which i did not sample. mostly because it smelled horrible. the night's grand prize defintely had to go to same for dressing up like will ferrel impersonating gene frenikle from blue oyster cult. teh original skit is absolutely hilarious, and seeing sam burst into the party wacking away at his cowbell was sidespliting. then of course clint starts with his perfect vocal impression of christopher walken in that sketch, and i just pretty much died right there. "really explore the space.... i got a fever.... by the time were done with this you'll be wearing gold diapers, babies." sunday was spent at fry's gathering computer parts. i got to play with lucas's 8 ft. albino python, lavithan. he's funny. i also got to play some gyruss. (word up to my old school nes homies) after lucas's we headed over to michelle's to drop off her computer and to see her new place. she has a rad landlord, elvira mistress of the dark, herself. which is soooo amusing. she parks right next to her skulled out caddy. i've grown tired but i look forward to the extra hour of sleep i'll be getting. viva!

warning: whining from a brat.

2003-10-24 16:37:23 ET <bash head in>i really need a place that i can just go to. where no one is there. where its private. cause i absolutely despise home. this feeling has only grown because now i drive. but because i have this small amount of freedom, it just makes things worse. the one freedom is limited. i can't drive anywhere. just to school from home and back again. tonight i'm suppose to go and hang out with brian and some friends. i suddenly don't think i'm in the mood for it. i just feel really shitty. it's leading to other feelings that i've felt for awhile, which is just my default depression. i honestly feel like i'm crazy. i feel really isolated at the same time. i really get the sense that everything is just blank. my outlook on life is horribly depressing at all moments. i should get my portfolio together but because of how i feel about myself it just seems pointless. i don't have the talent and i should just quit school and end up getting some retarded retail job that will make it possible to live. i don't know exactly how i'm suppose to feel right now. i don't know if this is just teenage angst talking, if this is signs of a serious need to get to someone, or if i've become too akward for my life situation. i really just want to grab brian and take off. i don't want to be here anymore. everything that's here is sooooo depressing. alot of things i liked to do have been ruined by people. i certainly don't want to run into them. either. just maybe if i was on my own it would be ok. things that seem wonderfully nice when living by one's self.: prancing in my underwear. singing really loud. being obnoxious. crazy art space. crazy painting. having friends over. not having anyone be anywhere. being able to use MY computer whenever i want. living in a mess if i chosed it. not picking up other peoples clothes. NO random people hair on things. being able to change in any room i pleased without someone bursting in on me. --- you honestly wouldn't believe how many times i've been in my own room and i've had someone walk in while i was putting on my panties. and not in that sexy pizzaman just came to the door and let himself in type of thing. --- doing what ever the fuck i pleased with my face and body. viva la piercings and tattoos. no one rummaging through my things. no one stealing my clothing. no one to bug, annoy, or be assulted by. blah!!! time to seriously get my act together about finding a job. </bashing head> 6 comments

SCORE!

2003-10-22 16:17:29 ET so, today there was a picture extravaganza up at school. it was good times. after school i headed over to fashion gal to pick up some things i had tried on a few days previously. they had everything except for this one skirt, but i found one almost like it that fit better. :D then i thought, "hey, sunthrift is a coast in nuetral down the hill. :D" thank god i went. i bought two shirts, a bug shirt, and a freaking MR. T shirt!!!! then i bought a nice black dress, rollerskates, and a polaroid sx-70. i watched this guy eye the camera as i was heading towards it. i was waiting for him to jump in front of me.. if so i would have thrown a skate at his head and kicked him in the back. i was victorious, but he followed me around till i got up at the front. guy:"wow, that's a great camera." beetle:"yeah, it sure is. that's why i'm purchasing it." guy:"*disapointed* oh. um." beetle:"never hestitate at a thrift store." guy:"yeah." cut to me purchasing camera and singing. it was the best. in victory of that i'll listen to survivor's "eye of the tiger". \m/ *rocks out* yes. i'll go read now. :) 5 comments

Jump to page: [Previous] 1 « 42 43 44 45 46 » 102 [Next] Back to beetleginny's page