|
2004-04-23 16:14:00 ET there is a deep feeling of dread left in my stomach....and it's yucky I found out two days ago that the guy who got away got his psycho ex girlfriend/current girlfriend/whatever the fuck pregnant I think she did it on purpose, but I don't have anyway of proving that. He was going to leave her and come back to california like he should have in january after that thing(see above link) happened... but they were still fucking, he keeps trying to contact me, and I won't let him. He sent me an e-mail saying that I have been really supportive blah blah blah... and he is is still leaving tennessee, now I think that he should leave her, but if she is going to keep the baby, fuck if i know, he should stay and support it, not her. I am so disgusted. so many questions- why were they still having sex? why didn't he tell me what was really going on? does he really give a fuck about me? I also think I am going to psuedo break it off with -----. We aren't really together, but now more than ever I want something real, something tangible(and I mean more tangible than just sex)...someone to hold me and tell me it will all be okay...something I never wanted with anyone but tony...i know he going to read this, b/c I intend on un-blocking it(once I feel like I can handle that). but at least then he will know how I feel, I just can't talk to him... |
